I feel for you. My mom is in the beginning stages of Dimentia. It's a hard row to hoe. Ill keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Blessings.

sorry Mom we sold your house, you have to stay in the retirement community.....

I understand the conflict it is a lot of things to do to clear out a family home....we barely even broke even after the estate sale due to needing dumpsters several times and also having to have asbestos abatement done in the basement....it is a hell of a lot of work....and takes money too....

I understand dealing with a parent with dementia, not to mention a Father with heart problems who didn't want to move away from his home. So please know that I do understand. With that said, this is something that you all should work through over time and not rush it, or there may be worse consequences, and not making lives better & easier. Without knowing their age or financial status, the State does offer Long Term Care, have a caseworker and if they qualify, someone can come in a few times a week to keep the house up and help with meals, etc., which can take a lot off your plate. Has your Mom been diagnosed with Dementia? There are groups for Caregivers, which can help you with finding resources and people to help you deal with the stress as well. Please take time and talk with the State and see what they can do for your parents, or if they can offer other options. Hope the best for you and your parents.

So things are progressing. My mom is finally letting me go ahead to fill out paperwork for an independent living community w lots of amenities. My dad in detox rehab called me and said, we should move. And I told him , yes dad we are looking around so he is on board. Part of the only reason my mom will move is because of the large move in fee and it’s better for my dad who we are trying to keep sober. She wanted me to do all this work to just “try it out” for a month.

You wrote this is independent living? Right?.... I would talk with someone if your mom has dementia and if you dad is presently in detox to see what might be the best way to help them

My mom had Alzheimer's and the stress was off the wall... I could barely leave her for a minute and I don't know that your dad will be able to cope if the dementia starts progressing if he's struggling with addiction and trying to stay sober

Have you talked with a social worker??.. If you haven't I would ask your doctor or your mom's doctor to refer you to one where you could discuss different options available.....

Gentle hug and a blessing.....xo

Hahaha! I am a social worker and I work w seniors. I’m not saying I have all the answers. My mom is still early stage dementia and can still drive nearby. I don’t think my dad has enough vision to be driving anymore. They don’t need to be living in their 5 bedroom home anymore, it’s too big. This community has transportation to many places, three meals a day, activities, push call button, security 24/7. If my mom needs more assistance she could start going to an adult day center or hire some home care where they will be living. This is the perfect next step for them while they are still independent enough. But yes that is true, my dad could not handle caring for someone w dementia. He has like “0” patience for anything. She would have to move in w me or have home care or move to an Assisted Living. So I’m holding my breath that everything goes smooth while they transition to a retirement community.

Oh okay there's help available where they're going and you know the 'ropes'.... It sux….

I hope that things will go really smooth for all of you to

I feel for you.... These times are so rough..... Big hug …...xo

Thanks SunCloud. On moving day my mom tried to cancel the lease and cancel the moving truck. She said she just realized it was too expensive but she went and negotiated a lower price w them. She did not help me pack at all. I sat there and packed all boxes for 4 hours straight before the moving truck came. Everything looks nice and we had a nice dinner there and everyone welcomed and talked to her. Yet she still mentions this like a trial and trying to still keep a lot of stuff in the 5 bedroom home like she is eventually going to move back or something when she knows that is not a good idea for my dad who is trying to break old habits and stay away from alcohol. I have to be patient. She is grieving inside.