Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
An "early" good morning to you all! I haven't gone to sleep yet...
SO, Mom is in a nursing home for rehab. She's been there about 5 weeks now. She is doing occupational and physical therapy.
Since she's been there, she has fallen 3 times. A few times, trying to get up and walk by herself, she fell....One other time, the nurse was helping her, and lost her grip, and mom slid down to floor.
Last night, she tried to get into her wheelchair from her bed, and she fell. The nurse walked by her room, and saw her, and went in and said "Hi, what happened, are you ok??
Mom said yes, I just tried to get up into the wheelchair, and I slid to the floor....and fell. Just help me up, but please don't call my daughter...Let's just keep this quiet, and make a deal, and we'll forget about the whole thing, ok?????
LOL!!! MY mom...she's quite a trip...She's making "deals" with the nurses, trying to keep it on the down low, about her falling so I don't call her and tell her, or say "MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
I don't want to make light of this, but have to laugh, imagining my Mom, making a "deal" with the nurses. I'm surprised she didn't bribe them with her candy or cookies that my cousin brought her!!
BUt, I also don't want her to think i'm "scolding" her, but she was in the hospital for 5 months, before she went to rehab.
The last thing she needs, is to fall, and break a hip or arm, or leg, and she 'll be right back in the hospital, and all the hard work, and pain, and exhaustion she is going thru now for rehab, will be wiped clean...and she'll have to start all over.
I told her that today, didn't yell, and just told her. I never yell at her, just try to make it known to her=that she can't just get up and walk yet...She's not strong enough and her balance is not good.
She fell at home here, and her balance was not good. it's even worse now.
PHEW!!! Just feels good to get all of this out. My brother is out west, and is not local, so it's all on me, and he just doesn't understand how she is, and how much she's failing. I guess you have to see it to believe it, cause she's aging, and I don't think he wants to admit that, although i'm 2.5 yrs younger than he is.
thanks for the read,
Boo
SO, Mom is in a nursing home for rehab. She's been there about 5 weeks now. She is doing occupational and physical therapy.
Since she's been there, she has fallen 3 times. A few times, trying to get up and walk by herself, she fell....One other time, the nurse was helping her, and lost her grip, and mom slid down to floor.
Last night, she tried to get into her wheelchair from her bed, and she fell. The nurse walked by her room, and saw her, and went in and said "Hi, what happened, are you ok??
Mom said yes, I just tried to get up into the wheelchair, and I slid to the floor....and fell. Just help me up, but please don't call my daughter...Let's just keep this quiet, and make a deal, and we'll forget about the whole thing, ok?????
LOL!!! MY mom...she's quite a trip...She's making "deals" with the nurses, trying to keep it on the down low, about her falling so I don't call her and tell her, or say "MOM WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!"
I don't want to make light of this, but have to laugh, imagining my Mom, making a "deal" with the nurses. I'm surprised she didn't bribe them with her candy or cookies that my cousin brought her!!
BUt, I also don't want her to think i'm "scolding" her, but she was in the hospital for 5 months, before she went to rehab.
The last thing she needs, is to fall, and break a hip or arm, or leg, and she 'll be right back in the hospital, and all the hard work, and pain, and exhaustion she is going thru now for rehab, will be wiped clean...and she'll have to start all over.
I told her that today, didn't yell, and just told her. I never yell at her, just try to make it known to her=that she can't just get up and walk yet...She's not strong enough and her balance is not good.
She fell at home here, and her balance was not good. it's even worse now.
PHEW!!! Just feels good to get all of this out. My brother is out west, and is not local, so it's all on me, and he just doesn't understand how she is, and how much she's failing. I guess you have to see it to believe it, cause she's aging, and I don't think he wants to admit that, although i'm 2.5 yrs younger than he is.
thanks for the read,
Boo
Next time this happens you might ask her doctor to talk to her. Let him be the bad guy. In fact I try to let others be the bad guy as much as possible. I need mom to tell me everything so I have no problem using others as the bad guy. That way mom and I are on the same side and then we can come up with ways to make her safer.
Unfortunately falls will happen. Mom needs all the info on what could be a consequence of getting up before she is ready so she can balance that against her desire to be independent.
I am so glad you come here to share with us..so many good folks here:):)
But you are right. A fall could easily start that downward spiral.
It is a balancing act. What to let them do and what to ask them to stop doing.
We have to balance letting them go with wanting them with us forever.
It is difficult.
Hope mom starts to improve.
I think all the aging parents try to hide what they are up to. Just part of the fear of losing everything.
They KNOW most of life is over for them and that has to be very scary.
I imagine they think they have nothing to lose by taking risks.
I don't know if you ever watched Northern Exposure. I always think of the scene when Maurice jumped off a waterfall when he discovered he had heart disease.
I just might pull something like that when the time comes!
I am happy your mother is doing OK, and her deal making with the nurse is a very cute story!
Hugs,
Debi
Trying to get out of her wheelchair, to get into bed. Although ,her wheelchair has an alarm on it, and it rang at the nurse's station, she was so quick, she fell before they could get into her room!
I just had a talk with her, and she was pissed I was upset...but she said "OK, I won't try it again without help"..
I'm going up to see her in about a half hour. Hoping face to face, she can understand the problems she may have, if she tries this again.
"Frustrated Boo"
Boo I sure hope your Mom listens to you this time before something bad happens!
Good luck!
That was a cute story. I'm glad she hasn't hurt herself with these falls. Unfortunately, nursing home falls are common. Have they done an assessment on her for any underlying problems causing the falls other than atrophy from being immobile for so long. If she's a fall risk, I would think the staff would have more preventative measures in place.
She's a trickster though; they really think the staff isn't going to tell the family of these things. It's too funny! Good story, I needed a laugh today.
PD
I am so very sorry that she has fallen again.
Gentle hugs
Something else to consider is whether mom is not remembering that she can't do this on her own? Is it memory or stubbornness?
I talked to PT, they said she did 50 steps yesterday, and did well, and is doing very well in PT.
SHE'S STUBBORN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol!!!!
I did talk to her when i went to visit. Tried to talk calmly, as i know her aging, and not walking by herself, is getting to her. She's one of those older people that hates aging...not that anyone LIKES it ..but it really does bother her, and depress her.
We have a care plan meeting set for July 30th, but i sent off an email to her Social Worker to address some issues.
Stubborn, yupper, and I'm the Taurus! I'm the one that's supposed to be stubborn!
Thanks for your concern and well wishes for Mom..It's so nice to have people to talk about this with.
Boo
When an elderly or sick person falls it can do a few things. It can damage the skin which can lead to systemic infections and yes death. When my dad first got really bad it was because he was sliding to the ground and couldn't get up. Mom called the emt the first time and they got him into bed. But he tried to get up again and slid to the floor. That time she left him for a while. He ended up in the hospital and almost died. The pressure to his skin set off a deadly chain of events.
Your mom needs to be told theses things, probably by a nurse. We all hate to not be in control but your mom needs to understand that her impatience may cause her more injury and make her even more dependent. At the same time the nurse should also do a mental assessment. You may think mom is being stubborn but it could be early dementia. It's very hard for us to see this when we are soo close.
I think you and your family have everything covered. I understand falling can create more than just a set back in recovery because for some it can very easily lead to a downward spiral.
Thank you for posting the story though. I went through these numerous falls with my father and now my mother in law. One of her slips caused a broken ankle, broken nose and 7 stitches in her head. None of which were funny. They had her classified as a fall risk but unfortunately she got by them and there-in-lies-the-rub!