Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I do not know where to go from here. To make a really REALLY long story short... my mom recently got out of the hospital. She was there for 2 weeks due to pnuemonia and some other issues. She has 1 leg so while she was in the hospital and getting better, they didn't let her out of the bed or anything to keep her strengh. She says she lost all her strength and while I'm not 100% doubting her, I know the majority of the reason of "losing her strength" is fear.
She is terrified now to transfer from the couch (this is where she sleeps because it's easier for her) to the toilet we have next to her couch. While my mom is heavy, I am strong and able to transfer her myself. However, because she is so afraid, she is very nasty and cries all the time when she sees me because she associates me with transferring and that's something she fears.
Honestly... I know it's hard and I know I can act tough to her but I do not want her to give up because I know she can do it ESPECIALLY if she starts exericising which is what she did before going into the hospital. I don't want to keep bothering her and part of me just says to give up and let her do what she wants but I know she can do it and I don't want to give up.
Rehab is not an option. Visting nurse is not an option. I just don't know how to help someone who gives up on themselves. As a side note: Adult Protective Services keeps knocking on our door each day which we don't answer. I am terrified that they will take her away. They DO NOT need to take her away. Taking her away is NOT an option and WILL NOT help!
It can be hard, but our parents can change. We got a visiting nurse to come in and evaluate her living situation. It was a team actually. they made several good suggestions. (Most of which we had previously made to her.) She did not take many of them seriously, but it got the message across to her and she did make some changes.
Can you give us a hint as to why you think that Adult Protective Services wants to take your mother away? Almost all of us have had parent issues where our parents REFUSED to give up on some unsafe behaviors. It is a struggle we have all gone through, and for the most part are always going through.