sorry willow having a bad day today? tomarrow will be better there is always tomarrow in which we can start all over again brand new.

live moment by moment do not think about tomarrow is is not here nor think about the past it is gone...................

god bless there is always hope.........................
ps you are not alone...............

Ok going to say something which may be a bit radical to you but just consider it . Your parents are elderly and set in their ways. They clearly down want your input and they are probably too old to make any dramatic changes . So for your own sake and your own mental health let all that go. Dont give any input , let your mom have her coke and your step dad lay on the couch all day . This is how they want to spent their lives so leave them to it .

I think you are a good daughter and will probably find this hard to do but you do need to focus on your own health and well being too.
I think you will still need to do what you can from them in terms of practical stuff . You need to keep them onside if you have to keep living there.

Instead of just trying to sleep your days away why not try to create a life for yourself outside your parents home. See if there are any hobbies you enjoy and any clubs or free classes close by. I don't know what your medical issues are but see if you could find some support groups in your area and see if you can get any information on looking after yourself properly and getting some emotional support. Peer to peer support works !!!!

I would search the web and the local papers and see if there any groups classes choirs church groups anything at all that is low cost and accessible to you. You can't change your parents bt you can change yourself and how you react to them . Good luck and feel free to rant anytime xxx

It is always so hard when you have to face the same thing day after day after day and you know tomorrow will be just mjore of the same.
Do you think you can stop worrying about what mom drinks just for your peace of mind?
Are you well enough to go to the library and spend the day sitting there?
Is it possible to go to a local church and join a group that allows you to bring your pillows, blankie and sit in a comfy chair?
I am in terrible pain too. Dad just showe dup on my door step on day. He was tired of living alone after a couple months without mom. That's it, he is tired of being alone so now I have to put up with him. Just when my kids were leaving the house. I don't get it.
He is rude about my illness too. But at least it is my house.

You poor thing. I can't imagine having to move back in with abusive parents. That is a real nightmare. Is there no other living situation that your disability will provide? I can't imagine being stuck in my parents home again ever. I really don't get why parents think they can continue to behave like we are still 10 years olf until they die. When did parents get the idea that children are here just to take care of them when they get old? It really amazes me that anyone thinks it is great to have parents expect children to simply give up their life, health and everything just because they want to be taken care of for the rest of their lives.

I wonder if you can get out to the movies or anything at all? Perhaps church will offer some activity for you so you can be with others who really appreciate you for who you are. I know it is terribly difficult when you are in pain yourself. Do you at least have a TV in your room? some books to read? can you do any knitting or other hand crafts to engage your mind a little to have something to look forward to other than the daily nightmare of being trapped in that house?

I wish there was more I could offer. Look into other social programs. There has got to be something to help you. I knoew people who never worked a day and they get lots of help. There is something wrong with our society when a contributor to the cash reserves is left out when a need arrises.

If all else fails, read your bible. The gideons will send you one for free.

hello willow, I am so sorry that you are going thro this touch things. my prayers that God fills your heart with peace and calmnss and gives you heath so that you will be able to handle the things in your life. I see others have written their messages. I hope you slowly by God's grace not be affected by your parents attitudes etc..have a blessed day.please keep writing and Iet us know whates happening and this site is very nice and I am sure you will get advice and suggestions from others here.
Regards,
bh

My heart really goes out to you. I spent my childhood and young adult years worrying about my father: his drinking, his unwillingness to take his pills as directed and so on. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME. I couldn't save him! People do what they like...

As someone said "everyone has a higher power...and it ain't me". Then of course, I had my mother sucking the life out of me.

You need support, darling. I'd recommend that you seek an Al-Anon group even though it's not alcohol related issues. Cheryl Richardson, an author, always recommends that when people can't afford therapy to look for an Al-Anon meeting. It is a co-dependence issue (I'm not in the USA so this is not viable for me but she swears you'll be so welcome there).

Also, if you can, read "The Art of Extreme Self-Care" by Cheryl Richardson also.

Keep us posted. We can't save them. We can only save ourselves.

Tough situation to be in. Your parents lack of caring for their own health seems to be stressing you out. On top of that you have your own things to deal with. Your parents still should get a helping hand from you as long as you focus more on getting yourself better.

I'd like to suggest something that is free but can be beneficial to you. If you spare at least 30 to an hour outside, i suggest you go for a walk. Practice while on your walk stress releasing breathing exercises. Say that three times! Anyway google should give you some sites with good breathing techniques. Fresh air and exercise does anyone good and i think you should dabble in it. i also think everyone elses suggestions should help. Good luck.

I want to express my sincere gratitude to all of you who replied to my plea for help :-) God Bless you all!!! This group has been a lifesaver! I know I can't change my mom or s-dad's behavior. I don't try. I guess it's the nurse in me, but I know that I cannot change anyone but myself. I'm trying SO hard to do that. I've tried to get Assistance from anywhere I could but "make too much money". Tried to get into low income housing, but "make too much money". Who are these people!!!??? I barely make enough on my Soc.Sec.Disability Income to survive, get my meds, pay my bills. I have 2 pets, who are my life, and their needs come out of my income first. Then the rest of the groceries...which are getting so expensive. At least my mom and s-dad are getting Meals on Wheel's (for now...I think my mom will cancel them). I do have a TV in my room, my computer, etc... I'm very lucky. I just can't handle the negativity and stress in this house. There's just no joy. I need something, anything to look forward to. I'm just so darn alone. I'm not able to get out a lot and really can't commit to joining a group or going to the library, etc... b/c my own pain is so bad. My anxiety and depression are worse though. If I had to make a choice btw the 2, I'd take the physical pain anytime.

My s-dad was in a car accident on Friday (4 days ago). He wasn't looking at the road (he hasn't been safe to be driving for a very long time now!), and he rear-ended another woman's car. Both were taken to the ER by ambulance. My s-dad was sent home the same day and we don't know about the other woman yet. They don't know if their car will be totalled or not yet. For now my car is the only car they have to use. I don't mind my s-dad using it (my mom no longer drives). My car is only going to be useable until the end of August b/c it's not going to pass inspection. I was told this by the inspector last year. I'd need to come up wtih $900 to get it to pass. So after August, there will be no car. There's a bus about a quarter of a mile away, which I'll use if I must, but I don't know if I can walk that far with the intensity of pain I have. We'll see. I'm not worrying about that now. For now, I stay in my room and sleep as much as possible to get some escape from the depression and pain, after I do what I must or can for them. I'm exhausted but can keep going on like this for a long time I'm sure. I Just REALLY want my own place and peace. I've forgotten what it's like to have privacy, independence, friends, a boyfriend, having my own sofa to lay on and watch what I want on TV and miss going to bed when I want to, etc... I miss not having a Curfew! At my age that sounds awful silly, but it's true. Sleep is my best friend at this point.
Thank you all SO much for being here!
Kathy

p.s. I do read my Bible and Pray a LOT.

You need to keep those sweet little furry ones who love you no matter what. I understand what is going on. It is so hard when parents are constantly negative. Mine is all the time. It drives me nuts and I only really see him a couple times a month. Having to see him everyday would drive me to sick depression.

If you can hang on till tomorrow. perhaps GOd has some plan where you will be able to use this experience to help others. I mean I might not really understand if dad was not here trying to tell me how bad I am at everything all the time. No conversations is ever positive. Even the route that I drive to church is all wrong. I don't get parents who think they still get to put us down when we are grown up.

Clearly, you have education. Why do parents assume that we remain ignorant enough to be lectured despite having degrees? Can't answer that one. My dad refuses to respect my Celiac. When we let him use the kitchen, he spread gluten everywhere. I ended up really sick all over again. So we had to ban him from the kitchen. He talked to some stranger who claimed to be a nurse who told him I could eat a slice of bread without any danger to me. He believes a stranger instead of me.

Will keep you in my prayres. Hang in there one day at a time. I remember feeling that lousy. Hopefully something will change with your health. you really need some decent pain relief. I'd suggest some earplugs but they don't tend to block all the sound.