please get legal power of attorney over her money.....that is what you need to take over her financial situation....and she sounds like not of sound mind.....so see an attorney and do it.....

She's probably afraid when she is lucid about changes that are going on..... I would try and convince her to see her family doctor and go with her

If she is confused a lot of the time and making bad choices you could request a psychiatric referral for competency and they could deem whether or not she's legally incompetent


These days are so hard.... I feel for you... My mom had Alzheimer's and I used to feel like my heart was being ripped out


Moving could have really exacerbated her confusion

Big hug.....xo

Yes my mom actually already has power of attorney papers so I just need to get her to use them to take over grandmas finances.

I agree the move probably did create confusion for her but she lived 4 hours away and was hallucinating and not paying bills there so I had to move her so I could help her.

I went to a family doctor with her when she lived 4 hours away and after many tests it was determined she was "lonely". Now that she lives by me I can help her get to some specialists so we can actually figure out what's wrong.

It makes me sad when she gets angry when all I'm trying to do is help her. Every conversation with her is so meaningless and sad. Could medicine make her happy again? I just want her to be happy and I feel so helpless. Everything we do seems to make her mad or isn't right for some reason.

I don't know how anyone figures out how to deal with this kind of thing emotionally....it's so hard. I never feel like I'm saying the right things to her....I never know what to say.

Thank you for reading my post

Part of dementia can often be being combative sadly and it is hard to take...… Anti depressants aren't often recommended for seniors

My mom was put on one of the few antipsychotics that can be taken and it was for her combativeness called Haldol

It helped a great deal for that almost instantly however there can be side effects that might have to be considered if she had them

She needs to see a doctor for a diagnosis though.... There are doctors that work specifically with geriatrics or a psychiatrist could assess her

Good luck, Candi, to your mom implementing exercising of the power of attorney. When I started trying to take over handling my own mom's finances, I ran into a number of roadblocks. There are some financial institutions that require their own form to be filled out, signed, notarized, etc, before accepting the power of attorney (Fidelity was by far the worst for me). Tell your mom to be patient and stick with it. If she has time and energy, I would encourage her to contact all your grandme's financial institutions sooner rather than later, so that she can work out any bumps while your grandma has some capacity left to sign notarized documents. She might also consider getting a Medical Power of Attorney - which may be important if she needs to deal with the medical side of things.

If your mom has power of attorney AND is on the bank accounts, then the best move would be to just start doing it. I have found that I can pay all my bills on line (OK, 95% of them!) and it is very easy. Many can be set up to pay automatically.

As people grow older, the number of bills they need to pay does go down.

It sounds like your grandmother is losing her abilities, so you may be able to allow one or two bills to go to her room, but check the payment status online and pay them if she does not do so. Or perhaps start gradually moving bill payment to you or your mom.

Gentle hugs