Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
At lunch my father called. First he called me at work. I wasn't there. So he called my cell phone and I was dumb enough to answer. He said that he needed to talk to me. That he was weak and had a past that made him the way he is. He said he'd always been afraid to talk to me about it, thinking I would be afraid.
He asked me to call him when I got home.
I was stupid and called him. Now I'm a wreck. He started in on me right away, accussing me of causing his foot problems. T hen he said something that took my breath away. His words: That's why your husband didn't want to stay home with you. You're a horrible person.
My husband had no choice but to work. He was like a lot of us. They downsize and give you the work of the people who were let go. He was a kind and gentle man who loved me very much. He proved that in a million ways.
So why would someone who claims to love you say something so horrible. And how do I as a Christian forgive him?
I'm shattered.
He asked me to call him when I got home.
I was stupid and called him. Now I'm a wreck. He started in on me right away, accussing me of causing his foot problems. T hen he said something that took my breath away. His words: That's why your husband didn't want to stay home with you. You're a horrible person.
My husband had no choice but to work. He was like a lot of us. They downsize and give you the work of the people who were let go. He was a kind and gentle man who loved me very much. He proved that in a million ways.
So why would someone who claims to love you say something so horrible. And how do I as a Christian forgive him?
I'm shattered.
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grill tonight with charcoal.....turned out good but had some stuff that I had to feed to Belle and Happy because it was grissley. it tasted pretty good and was a perfect mid rare....
Your dad's comments show how out of touch he is. . . most people have to work. That your husband shouldn't have is just silly. Since when does supporting your family show you don't care about them. Take it for the ridiculous statement it is.
Your dad's behavior doesn't mean he doesn't love you. . . it means he is mentally unwell. I have been getting through a lot lately by reminding myself of that. I think sometimes we expect people to behave like normal. . . but circumstances and mental and physical capacities change.
When your dad starts on you tell yourself over and over and over that he is mentally unwell. You have to find a way to not let his words harm you so much. I know it is easier said then done, but you have to work at not letting your dad's mental problems damage you.
- caregiver may feel unable to control life's events and may suffer from depression,worry,anger,regret,stress and guilt.
- Instead of being grateful, the person in your care may display unpleasant changes in attitude.
- He or she may react to constant daily irritaions by lashing out at you.- you may feel duty bound to spend personal funds on caregiving.
- family and friends may be critical and offer unwelcome advice..
These wer some points in addition to others. So..what I feel is..pelase do not take personla about what they talk at all. they may not mean what they saya nd they may not be able to express appreciation too what they mean. So, I hope you feel peace in your heart and and hope God gives complete love in your heart and that gives you strength to not treat your father with the heart where none of his talks will affect you personally at all.
Regards.
hazards