Unfortunately you will likely have to put up with a little of that. I think people try to say something for fearing seeming cold if they don't say anything.

Also meant to say it's only for a few hours. Some things in life are impossible to recover from completely but your grief will soften with time. Get some grief counseling when you feel ready. It can work wonders.

Thanks Trojan-yes Im signing up for grief spport groups

I totally understand what you are saying as I went through that 39 years ago with the death of my brother (he was 16 and died in a motorcycle crash).
Over the years and tons of counseling, I have come to terms that people feel awkward about death and do not know what to say and so they grapple for the right things to try and comfort out of ignorance and not to intentionally hurt you.
I try to educate folks when I can to just give a person a hug and let them know that you can give a listening ear should they need to talk and that nothing else need to be said.
I worked in the funeral home business for 30 years. It isn't always easy to come up with the right thing to say.....no matter how long I've been dealing with loss. It's a journey for sure!

Refresh my memory. Was Mom on Hospice? Just a reminder they provide free counseling for a year after your loved one's passing.

there is never anything someone can say that will help, and we just try to do something....anything to express ourselves in an uncomfortable situation.
Just like weddings....try to look around and see the people and feel the love. the rest? leave it.

Yes TroJan-mom was in Hospice x 4 days-they are goin to hook me up w/bereavement groups

Sometimes we need to listen to what people say without listening to the words. The link below is the link to a song that was very popular back when I was a kid. I always liked it because it sounds so very happy. Just tonight I found this version with English subtitles. It is a sad song.

My point is to listen to the emotions of what people are saying. They are trying to send you love and support. Let your heart hear the music of their words, and tell your ears to ignore the words they are speaking.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C35DrtPlUbc

Life changes, sometimes to quickly for us to cope, other times too slow for us to endure. Now it is time for you to be the angle mom to your grown children.

Gentle hugs, and may happy memories of your mother warm your heart.

Cinben, here's a poem that I found awhile back.

God saw you getting tired
and a cure was not to be
so he put his arms around you
and whispered,
"Come to Me"

With tearful eyes we watched you
and saw you pass away
and although we love you dearly
we could not make you stay.

A Golden heart stopped beating
hard working hands at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best

The responses here were so beautiful, especially the poem. People just don't know what to say, so we have to accept their condolences without being offending.

Prayer to you.

So very sorry for your loss. My mother's service is tomorrow and I hope I can make it through the eulogy. Nothing anyone can say will be enough, nothing anyone can do will be enough to fill the void in your life. You only get one angel mom and that is it. She is with her family angels now. I always new that my mom was an angel. She was just so sweet and gentle and kind and funny. It comes in waves, grief does. Just when you think you might be doing ok, along comes something that reminds you of your angel mom and you have a melt down. Then you will recover. Yes, counseling will help good advice from all, but time will also. Grieving with you. Gentle Hugs and Tears for you.

Thanks Denise-your mom sounds like mine,service is tomorrow-i have plenty of kleenex ready

Cinben, Anxious to hear about the service for your mom. We had ours yesterday and it was beautiful. She would have been sooooo very pleased. I have her urn sitting next to me for the Easter weekend and she will be buried Monday, 4-7. Got through the eulogy, barely, but did it. Dad was thrilled I think beyond all his expectations. Lots and lots of klennex! That's okay. Remember, she is not gone from your heart. She is now in her true angel form, free and home. Love and Hugs, and Deepest Sympathy.