I guess I'm just venting at this point because I'm now understanding that in order for me to have some type of relief, I have to do something about my situation and I'm now at the point of snapping with my mother. I was in tears at work and now I'm home and still can't address the issue without anxiety and the feeling that it's going to be a bad outcome. I'm coming to understand that it's not just my mother's side of the family that's selfish, but my mother just as much as the are. I've been there for her/with her forever...lived together forever (with the excepton of 1 year). She constantly acts like she's clueless and manipulates every situation to accomodate HERSELF. I've never been a selfish person and to this day, I'm 38 years old and still don't know what it's like to do exactly what makes me happy. I have a child that I want to spend time with and I feel like she has gotten in the way (because I'm too lenient, she says) of my own ways and methods. Can't raise him the way I want because of her own ways and opinions, now he has self esteem problems.

She has constantly relied on me for everything, and I never complain...she has neglected her health for many years and her body is falling apart, so I tried to call her doctors hoping that she would do the right thing. She put off her hip surgery until she couldn't walk and had no choice but to get it replaced...I took her to the hospital and took care of her after she came home. She didn't follow up with her rehab, but I took care of her. She didn't get her knees replaced as she was instructed and I complained, you'd think she'd listen, but no...she fell down the steps and broke her back. Again, she didn't follow up with her physical therapy and decides to rely on crutches. She then falls and breaks her leg last year and you'd THINK she'd get her therapy, but NO, she just wants to come home to me and let me take care of her!!! Why not stay at the facility to get better???? NOOOO, let me do it all!! I almost lose my job along with $3300 of lost wages, having to take care of her because SHE wanted to come home, even though she wasn't physically ready. I had to get an apartment to move her in with me and NO I can't really afford it, but I needed my job...did she thank me for using up all my leave to take care of her....NO, she was upset that I had to go back to work!! WHAT??? I have 2 older brothers and she has 2 brothers but I'M taking care of her, she has no job...but I do, in addition to a child to care for!!

So now she's here with me and my boyfriend and my son and she's still not doing her PT and I have a business that I am trying to get up and running, but she doesn't want to do what I advise for her health...then a month ago the house she HAS gets broken into and all she cares about was HER stuff that wasn't touched!! They broke in and took items that me and my boyfriend purchased in addition to the $1500 water heater that they cut the copper pipes from. I asked her if she contacted the ins. company...she says, they probably won't do anything and I said "are you sure" and she replies "I'm pretty sure of it", so I get upset and tell her to at least call and find out, so she does. Guess what??? The house IS covered and they mailed 2 checks, but guess who told ME to deposit the money into their account???? I've never been one to ask for anything but I felt like I shouldn't have to, but all she seems to think about is what SHE's doing with the money...those bastards took my child's bike, and a host of items that I purchased, but nothing she had was taken...my boyfriend and I are struggling to keep this apartment and provide for the 4 of us and she didn't even offer to give me the money to replace what I lost or rent/bill money...she's said nothing to me!

I'm sorry, I'm just so upset...I needed to vent...