50 years of living in the same house is hard to fight. Is it possible to get a chair lift for the stairs? My parents did that, and it made it possible for them to stay in their home "until the end". (Both spent the last month of their lives in assisted living.)

My MIL was moved (against her will, but she did not fight much) from her 2 story house to our one story house. It has been 5 years, and she still does not like it. She accepts it, and she has gotten to like our house and our pets, but I suspect she will continue some form of resentment until the day she dies.

Do you have siblings? If so, presenting a united front is critical.

Depending on their insurance, you may be able to get a health care professional to come to their house and do an evaluation. WE did this with MIL and got a ton of feed back. Sadly she continues to furniture walk, positions her walker so it is not in my (me, the son in law) way rather than such that is is easy for her to get it.

But at least we tried. I believe that as more time passes we will work on her to do some of the things. And we will continue to modify the house to make it safer for her.

Gentle hugs, I know it can be hard.

My mother is willing to move but my father is in the worst health of both of them does not want to move. Right now he is back in the hospital and hopefully we can convince him to recognize that they need to move into an apartment. I do have sibling but they both stay in another state. I know if we put a lift in the house my father pride would not let him use it.

There is hope recently my father did mention to me in one of our discussion that maybe it is time for them to move into something smaller with everything on one floor.
Thank You Very Much

It is so very hard to know when to give them time, and when to do an intervention type thing.

Continuing hugs

Just gonna throw this out here not knowing the whole picture.

When your dad recovers from this hospitalization and weather permitting,
could ya all go out looking at different apartments and possibly new home models (the new models or open houses give them freedom to not be pressured as with a realtor) to give them an idea of what is out there?
Perhaps when they see something of interest or more convenient, it may push them into changing their minds and get the ball rolling.

Make it a casual outing on a good day perhaps with lunch/dinner included so you can discuss the pros and cons of each place visited?

((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

Would it be possible to add a bedroom on main floor , Think about moving them try any alternative that many years is hard enough on them much less going through what they would want to keep and an apartment is small way stressful on you and them

I have done that already and they refuse to sleep downstairs so they go back up stairs to their bedroom. I know that they have a lot of memories and are attach to this house but they do not need to be going up and down the stairs. I am afraid that eventually one of them will fall and serious hurt themselves. The doctors have told them both that they should probably find a more suitable living arrangement one with out stairs. You are right about the apartment that was the first thing that my father said was it would be to small.

I was going to mention the chair lift as well.... My friend's mom is 94 and she just sits in the chair and it takes her up to the top floor.... It's solved a big problem....xo

My dear father passed away a year ago and now my mother is alone in a big house and wants to stay there. I am one of five siblings but the only one nearby. It has been unbelievably painful and DIFFICULT.

The problem is the extra effort required to be there a couple of times a week, usually overnight once a week. I've taken her to the hospital several times, staying with her there for hours each time. I am overwhelmed with financial, work and personal problems and have always struggled with anxiety, depression and fatigue issues. I fear for my job which just began in June, 2017, because exhaustion and stress cause mistakes.

I do not help her grudgingly, I would do anything for her and wish I could take away the pain she is in. I'm just afraid I can't stand up to the stress. My husband is supportive but cannot really do anything to help.

I have so far found only two sources of strength; my sister, who comes from out of state at least once a month for several days and a book called "Faith and Farewell" (author Rev. Dr. Jack DiMatteo). I struggle with faith, but it is such an honest account of the good, the bad, and the ugly of these situations, it makes one feel less alone.

Best wishes to all of you who are sharing the same problems. I would love to hear from anyone who has lost their faith and regained it. Presently, I do not have it. Thank you.

Just hang in there and keep relying on your faith it will get you through your current situation. It is good that your sister comes from out of state to assist you. Continue to read your book Faith and Farewell, it can be both therapeutic and uplifting at the same time. I know that it is hard I have both of my parents and they are in their late 70(78). I reflect back on when I was growing up and how they were their for me. Now it is my turn to be there for them. It came be challenging and upsetting sometime. They are set in their ways and it is hard for them to change their behaviors that they having been doing for years, You might consider talking to a therapist, preach or some else in your family. Talking and writing can be therapeutic also. Continue sharing in this sort of form you are not along. There is a saying that God does not put more on our plate than we can handle.