Caring For Aging Parents Support Group

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Father Had Triple Bypass and Question

Lynnedz56
Lynnedz56
My dad is 80 and has been going downhill the last year after he broke a hip. Well, we finally discovered the problem. He had triple bypass surgery 4 days before Thanksgiving. However, here is my question. He acts as if he doesn't want to live anymore, yet he anxiously wanted the surgery. Now, he doesn't want to do what the nurses want him to do. He argues with them. He is demanding and they are at their wits ends. He argues as well with my mother. He was sent to rehab which is the next step in him coming home. He doesn't want to be there and faked chest pain to get back to the hospital. My mother explains to him that he will never come home unless he cooperates. Sorry...the question. How can you deal with someone like this? What do you do? I have never seen nurses who are so wussy and are not having him do what he needs to do. And I have my own medical conditions which make it next to impossible for me to get more involved. However, if there were some concrete suggestions, I might have to try going to the hospital. I am recuperating from blood clots in my lungs and another hospital stay 2 days ago and am not supposed to be stressed.
shur1
shur1
your father has been through quite alot coming through this surgery.
it takes a while for him to look forward only if it is a little bit. perhaps he likes the hospital where the nurses are and there he feels more safe then a rehab center most people dread rehab centers they are cold places except when the cna come in to do hygiene,bring food, or change the bed other than that they do not sit and visit they do not have the time. please be patient with him and visit him often comfort him let him feel safe again. he has been through a lot. i know that you are not well also and this is a lot for you to accomplish for him. be patient with him and look to his fears in order to sooth him.

god bless you
deleted_user
deleted_user
You might try talking to his doctors. Post surgery depression is common and can be treated. After doing some checks to make sure there is nothing else going on they could give him something to pep him up a bit.
peanutsandcheese
peanutsandcheese
Simply put he feels like crap right now. Physically he has been through a big surgery for someone of 80 years of age . That does lead to depression. My father had an incredibly positive attitude after his surgery but he too got depressed and did begin to doubt he would get well or ever feel any better . He hated losing so much control too and got fed up of being" pushed around" so much by the medical staff. He also just felt really fragile and vulnerable . Its just hard for him to see past all that kind of thing right now do you think ?? You need to keep talking him up . Talk about when he comes home not if . Keep telling him how well he has done to date and how well he is doing daily. Remind him the doctors have done their bit and now its up to him to hold up his part of the bargain. Arrange lots of different visitors for him to build up his spirits if you can. He is just acting like he does not want to live anymore probably because he thinks he may not get through this . I have my own pretty serious medical conditions too at the moment and it makes things a lot tougher but there are somethings that just cant wait and we have no choice but to get involved. I did not want to lose my father so I just had to get on with it . Look after yourself and I hope you father gets well soon xxx
Lynnedz56
Lynnedz56
He's been acting like this for the last year...since he broke his hip. I cant go to the hospital and I just was wondering if there are any options. Last year, after the hip surgery he was put in a mental hospital for several weeks due to depression. He was put on Zanax and that was it. No therapy, nothing. I don't believe in just handing them a pill as I am in therapy due to depression from my medical conditions. I will have my mother talk to the staff and doctors and see if anything else can be done, as I do feel it is depression. That started over a year ago.
tendonshurt
tendonshurt
Lynn I'd love to chat with you in a more personal way. I can relate to everything your going through. I love this group but sometimes it not just about dad or mom. I'm sending a friend request and a short pm just to show you somemore support.

Healing hugs,
Marci