Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
In a nutshell, I come from a mentally abusive home. At the age of 52, I moved into my own apartment and away from the abuse that I still suffered from aging parents. A year ago my dad fell and broke his hip. It's been a long recovery and he's not the man he used to be. He's now 80 and has decided to give up on life. The man who was never sick now has one medical complaint after another. And still treats me like crap. My mother is perfect..ask her. But she whines and complains and every time I have a medical problem, she develops one. But basically, she is just lazy and does not want to do anything and has been like that for years. I feel that is why my dad has given up. He cooked, cleaned and did her laundry for years while she sat on her butt and did nothing. 2 weeks ago I was hospitalized for blood clots in lungs and can't really take care of my parents. I discovered that they are living like pigs. The house is a mess, my dad is lying around in diapers and my mom does nothing. It's not sanitary and I found out he is covered in sores. I don't have the money to hire help for them. And I really don't know what to do. They need help, but will not listen to me. I don't know what resources are out there to get them the help they need. And on the other hand, they were never there for me, so why should I care? I need to take care of myself because I don't want to die and I don't want to end up like them. Hopefully, there are others out there who can relate.
Yes, I too can relate.. Somewhat different circumstances but yes I can relate.
I`am new here and I just now put up my first post tonite.
You are right, you do need to take care of you. I hear you feeling a tad
of guilt. Do what you can for yourself. If you can pick up the phone and find out about services for them fine but I wouldnt bend over backwards.You need your energy to be getting yourself well first and formost. If and them you want to proceed any further with getting them any assistance , go for it..
You know, I learned as a parent and as a child that my parents did the best they could with what they knew at the time. Thats true of me too as a parent. I would hope my kids would treat me better than they are treating me now when I`am falling down. But whatever happens will be. I did they best I could at the time. Thats all anyone can do..
Sounds like your folks had either some substance abuse problems or mental health issues. I`am sorry you had to grow up like that.
Gentle Hugs,
Rosanne
If you can and want to The Council on Aging can help if you call them. There's programs and services: Homeinstead, Choices, Options are all FREE services for the aging and disabled. I'm on a waiting list for the Options program. Someone will come out and clean, do laundry, they run errands and they are allowed to take me to dr. appts. That'll help me so much. and it'll benefit dad also he lives with me. I can't keep my eyes open. I'm exhausted.
hugs
Tendonshurt is right. Call APS and let them decide. They will also offer options to your parents.
my father was so stubborn he was unwilling to seek medical attention and thought he would die on his own terms just lie down and let nature take it course without any medical help to ease his pain I finally had to step in when i discovered what his intentions were i could not bear the sight of him doing nothing anymore and just weathering away to die without the help of medications to help with his symptoms. i am glad that i did intervene it was a horrible thing for me to see he was a determined to stay home and die and he thought he would just let it happen by itself without the help
please do this for your mother and dad they know not what they do
god bless