Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I spoke with mom over the phone and we had a very enjoyable conversation. She recalled many things from her youth including her childhood, and young adulthood. I knew this account was accurate because I had heard these stories many times before. After the conversation ended...I thought, wow! In spite of the dementia, she had moments of clarity, and I was pleased.
Well approx. 15 minutes ago, there was a knock at the door. It was mom. I invited her in, and we sat down to chat. She was agitated about someone, but her reasoning didn't make much sense. I listened again, and pointed out that she was mistaken, and that the 'situation' wasn't as bad as she thought. When she realized that I wasn't siding with her, she threw a tantrum and made some threats against me, so I took a deep breath and told her to leave my home. She just sat there and continued the shouting match saying more hurtful things to me, even though I've always been supportive of her needs.
I'm assuming that her mean-spiritness may be the result of her dementia, and because of her actions, I've decided to stop visiting her for a few days because of the emotional toll it's taking. I will ask other family members to call and check on her. I I love mom, but I need a break!
Well approx. 15 minutes ago, there was a knock at the door. It was mom. I invited her in, and we sat down to chat. She was agitated about someone, but her reasoning didn't make much sense. I listened again, and pointed out that she was mistaken, and that the 'situation' wasn't as bad as she thought. When she realized that I wasn't siding with her, she threw a tantrum and made some threats against me, so I took a deep breath and told her to leave my home. She just sat there and continued the shouting match saying more hurtful things to me, even though I've always been supportive of her needs.
I'm assuming that her mean-spiritness may be the result of her dementia, and because of her actions, I've decided to stop visiting her for a few days because of the emotional toll it's taking. I will ask other family members to call and check on her. I I love mom, but I need a break!
The change in personality, meanness, etc. could very well be part of her illness. I believe emotions are toward the front of the brain, so if those Alzheimer's thingies are there, it would affect her emotions.
It's so sad to see them go like that, isn't it? I think your mom does need others to check in on her. It also sounds as if she's close to needing to live somewhere, with more constant supervision. But as my mom's doctor said, "you'll know when that time comes."
In my mom's case, she took a bus to Center City to cash a CD and couldn't find her way back home. Some lovely, wonderful, angel of a woman found her at a bus stop and brought her home and called me. My husband and I went to bring her to our home within the hour. I will never, ever, ever, forget that wonderful woman!!!!!
Sorry that your mom lost her way, but thank God for the good samaritan who brought her home safely.
That was one of the oddities I learned at a hospital-sponsored support group.
It made so much sense. If you can't remember spending time with your husband, you could think he hadn't been there, so where was he? Out with another woman, of course! :-)
That's just another way Alzheimer's is such an evil disease. It robs people of everything. Everything.
It does not make it any easier to talk with them when they are talking nonsence. It just helps understand why they are "lying".