Caring For Aging Parents Support Group
Caring for aging parents can be a difficul time as we become the caretakers for our parents. This broad responsibility can encompass such services as assisted living, adult day care, long term care, nursing homes, hospice care, and in-home care. Whether you have just started caring for your parents or just need a place to talk, we're here.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!!!
A year go today, (WED.31.JULY.2013) I was in the STICU with my Mom...watching & waiting for them to stabilize her enough to do surgery...it was a difficult time...because of her age (she was 94)... because of her combativeness (she had NEVER been this way)...because of her delirium ... because all the 'people out to get her'.
Today, a year later I am at the NH...watching & waiting... It's more difficult this time...because it's not my mom...because I don't know what to do...because she is so strong and full of fight... and I am not.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you wait for death? ...how do you wait for Death to come and take the one person who you know loves you far more than she loves herself?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you prepare for death...We don't fear death itself...but yet I am anxious...I've been having multiple panic attacks a day since last Friday...I feel so lost ...like I am spinning out of control...and I am...because I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
A year go today, (WED.31.JULY.2013) I was in the STICU with my Mom...watching & waiting for them to stabilize her enough to do surgery...it was a difficult time...because of her age (she was 94)... because of her combativeness (she had NEVER been this way)...because of her delirium ... because all the 'people out to get her'.
Today, a year later I am at the NH...watching & waiting... It's more difficult this time...because it's not my mom...because I don't know what to do...because she is so strong and full of fight... and I am not.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you wait for death? ...how do you wait for Death to come and take the one person who you know loves you far more than she loves herself?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!...how do you prepare for death...We don't fear death itself...but yet I am anxious...I've been having multiple panic attacks a day since last Friday...I feel so lost ...like I am spinning out of control...and I am...because I DON"T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If this person is going through the dying process, you must have hospice nurses around you monitoring. Is there anyone that you can talk to? Do you have family that can come and stay with you?
This is a very difficult time and you should have family or friends with you.
It is difficult to wait for someone to pass. I had this with my MIL and my Dad. The time spent waiting is a battle of wanting the to get better and knowing they won't and wanting their suffering to end. The nursing home should have a hospice service available to you. If they do not offer this talk to mom's doctor, maybe the right thing is to move her to an in-patient hospice where they know how to make her comfortable without doing unnecessary things. They will also have counselors who can help you.
You also need to go to your doctor. Multiple panic attacks means your meds are not working at this time. He can help you deal with this is a safe and effective way. You do your mom no good if you are sick or hurting.
Please tell us more. Sometimes it helps just to put the words down and share them. Do you have any family to be with you? If not we can be your family. Tell us some of the good things your remember about mom.
My mom will enter hospice care this Saturday. I understand the "she is not my mom" feeling. Please, PLEASE, talk to hospice people about support. They have seen lots of cases and can help you get a handle on things.
Please listen to the people here, they have helped me many times and know what they are talking about.
If you are not taking any anti anxiety meds, maybe it's time to try one, if you are, perhaps a bit stronger dose to help you through this. Hospice sounds like the right thing to do now.
Hugs,
Jazzy