Hi I have been a caregiver now for 20 years. My husband has many disabilities from a fall while skiing.
It is the hardest thing I have ever done,and as we both get older,it gets harder.
Sometimes I feel like running away,but then I wonder what would happen to him?
His family is not supportive and did not want him to marry me(I met him after his accident)
He was in a nursing home,where I was a nurse.
So if I did run away they would put him back there.
I used to post here but DS has changed also I live in Canada where things are a bit different.
We have funded home care which helps a bit.
I try to cope but it is hard.
I know this is not what you asked,but I just try to get through every day.
I see some one to talk to from time to time and it helps a bit.
But unless some one is going through this they mostly don't get it.
Take care
Laura

Thank you Laura.
I appreciate you taking the time to answer me and also I appreciate your honesty.
20 years is a very long time. I admire your strength.
I've thought of leaving, but hubby and I have been married almost 44 years and I know the burden would fall on my childrens shoulders.
I wish I had Canada's health care system.
You're correct that taking it just a day at a time and talking to others who are in the same boat is really the only way.
Sending you (((Hugs))) :-)

As they say you have to take care of yourself first. Getting respite care or occasional home care givers, getting enough rest and helpful food, interacting with your friends, seeing a therapist, exercise, meditate, deep breathing. These are the things I use to keep my head above water. According to my therapist I still don't do enough of these things but I'm getting better at. I'm hoping joining this support group will help too.
Another one is to be good to yourself and take it easy in your
spare moments.
Hope some of this will help. Just realizing there are others going through similar situations helps with my mindset.

Also try this website. www.agingcare.com.
Lots of people there.

Thank you jaf28 and Tired. You both made some great suggestions :-)

I have been caregiving for 7 years. Not sure about for you but for me in some ways it has gotten more difficult. In the beginning I was in crisis mode. Had to figure out how to do everything. Now we are in a routine so more time. Also the friends have stopped calling and stopping over. Family pops in a couple of times a year. I quit my job to care for him so I am home all the time. I can't leave him home alone and can't afford home health care.
I understand your feelings of losing yourself. Doesn't it seem like everything we do is centered around their needs? Are you able to make time for your hobbies and interest?
Good luck to you.

Hi tiredcaregiver, Yes I do make time for myself. Every chance I get I get out , hubby can be alone for up to 3-4 hours after I prep.
I also have several hobbies which bring me a lot of pleasure.
But I can really relate to the friends not calling anymore and even family has gotten "tired" of our situation.
Sorry for your situation. Sending you understanding (((Hugs))