Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
My husband is lying in his chair, in pain, and in total misery. Not to get too much into details but he cannot have a bowl movement. This started about 40 hours ago, and today is in pain, and misery. He made me go get him an enema kit and I could not even get the liquid enema to go in. (sorry for the gross details....) He's probably got a blockage or a hemorrhoid is causing this, but if I even suggest going to the hospital he screams that "they do nothing, except make me wait 5 hours before they will see me". So I have decided to wait until he finally suggests going to the hospital. He just took a pain pill and is sleeping I think. I know my husband does not like hospitals or ER's or doctors, he is sick of them, and me too. But why does he just moan and groan and complain of severe pain, (and keep asking me what he should do!!) and knowing that the enema has done nothing, he still refuses to go to the hospital? this only makes it harder on me, because I know that this is probably something serious and he won't get it checked out. OK, so since I have been going thru medical issues for the last 18 years with him, I will predict the outcome of this scenario. It's 4 pm now, so I figure about 8 pm he will decide he better go to the ER, which means we won't get out of there till about 1 am, if he does get to come home. Or the other scenario, will be him telling me around 1 am, he needs to go to the ER (yes, many times we have been to the ER in the middle of the night because he waits, and waits, and waits until he finally gives in. I am right in the middle of making a full on turkey dinner with stuffing, sweet potatoes, etc. My next option is that when the turkey is one, try one more time to get him to go to the hospital. Then I can wrap up and refrigerate the dinner for tomorrow. I will give the update later......I figured day one of 2013 could not go without some crisis! bu if anyone can figure out why men are soooooo stubborn, let me know!!
Sorry, did not mean to go on.
I hope your husband is doing better and you both get to enjoy your Turkey dinner.
Love, Patricia :-)
I would also suggest he start using a daily dose of Miralax, stool softener tablets, and fiber capsules. Once my wife started on Miralax each night before bedtime, she started having regular BM's the following mid morning.
I do hope that'll help somewhat.
I sat there wanting to beat my head on the wall a few times.
Final analysis, I'm getting her non-diabetic vanilla Ensure, even though she is diabetic, because she won't drink the other. She still blames me for the discomfort I caused two days ago when I insisted that she eat a boiled egg!
I tried to make mashed potatoes this morning,but she yelled when I wouldn't use the 30 year old, rusty, potato peeler. So I skin them with a knife and I boil them. I drained them and she says to put the butter in,and I look dumb, like which bowl does she want it in? Etc. then she yells, You act like you've never made mashed potatoes before!
I am not as good at this caretaking thing as I thought I would be!!! It would be so much easier if she would allow my little dog to come in her housemates too. So my dog is home WAY too many hours alone. (My husbands a truck driver.) you all probably know its best not to ask WHY she won't allow dogs. She has her rules and that's one of them and there's no compromising.
Sorry, I should have given a VENTING Warning first!
oh, and all's well that ends well. Husband finally accomplished his mission and the doctor told him to continue taking his stool softeners, maybe a little more often. Today was a much better day. I got to go to work and spend the day catching up on business. My sister took my husband to the motor vehicle driving place to get an ID card for him. He is no longer going to drive.
a few times i have been concerned enough to call his doc and leave a message...this always makes my husband mad, but i don't care. he's in my care so i have to call if i think something major may be going on with him. it seems to work to...if the doc's nurse calls back with a message he listens.
i helped take care of my mom before she had a major stroke and my dad put her into a nursing home. if my mom got really mean with me i would give her one warning to stop and if she didn't i would leave. her complaining of pain or terrible swelling i listened to and had compassion for, but nit picking and abuse i would leave. i was there to help her and she knew i did a good job or would try to do a good job to help make things easier on her.
i helped also when my step mom got very sick before she had to have around the clock care. she could get around but could never make it to the bathroom. when i was asked if i could help to make the house smell better, because everyone wanted to run out the door as soon as they walked in, i said "yes, but i will not be told what to do." my step mom said "what?" and i set the boundary quick. i was there to clean up her mess ups, her beds, laundry, bathrooms and sitting chair that was causing bad odor problems, i was not there to sweep the leaves off the porch. my dad could do that.
when my step mom started having strokes she would yell at me from time to time, but this i could ignore. it's wasn't her. by nature she was a very sweet woman.