Does her Dad suffer from any dementia or brain damage ? The reason I ask is it sounds like he's slipping into the paranoid behavior of someone with progressive alzheimers / dementia. It's a form of mental deterioration. Sadly there's not alot you can do to reverse it.

Maybe some of our other caregivers here can add their ideas.

Hugs, Phoebe :-)

Good perception Phoebes.....he is in the beginning stages of Parkinson's and dementia. His memory is OK, (not great, but for the most part equal to about someone his age - 85) but just has moments of memory lapses like when she tells him how long she will be gone or when she runs errands. This actually started with his wife a few years before she passed away. He became this way with his wife and now he is doing the same thing to his daughter.

The first thing that came to mind as I read that was a dementia problem and I believe that is probably the main reason for the need to cling. Because he acted much the same way with his wife prior to her passing, it appears he may have a fear of being alone.

My wife also had parkinson's and early onset dementia, and she too was very clingy. Any time I was out of sight she would start asking where I was, what I was doing, and when I would be back near her. Fortunately for me, this only lasted about 6-8 months, because it was very frustrating.

I don't know if there is anything that can be done to ease her fathers concern and need. Because of the dementia, reasoning with him is only temporary. Perhaps like my wife, this will only last for a few months and then pass.

Sorry I can't help more.

Hugs, Dan

Aging and illness alone can cause what you describe, much less Parkinson's and dementia. She needs to keep her routine as much as she can. It's her sanity that will get them thru this. So her work, her other commitments must be met as long as there are plenty of safeguards for him when she is gone. Unfortunately, as others said, there isn't a lot you can do to change or fix him. Just the way she reacts to it or talk to his dr about what meds may help his anxiety. Tell her we wish her the best and that she is wonderful for providing a home to her dad.

Thanks to all for responding. I will pass the info on to her. The two of us go for a beach walk every Sunday morning to help vent out our frustrations, etc. with her dad and my husband who also requires much medical care. We make suggestions to each other on how we can get thru this without losing our sanity!

Our roles do change as our parents age. My dad is 93 and last summer he broke his hip. My husband is a chronic pain patient on top of that! I ran myself into the ground for weeks between my husband and dad's hospital stay. When my dad came home my daughter was off for the summer and she stayed with dad during the day. I took care of hubby during the day and when he went to sleep I went to dad's to spend the night. After about a week of this my dad got demanding. My daughter would sometimes leave in tears, and I am good at ignoring when i have to be. After 3 weeks though I did have to put my foot down. He knew I had an already plate full at home and my husband changed his routine of his sleeping meds, did without baths and so on just for dad's fall, and he kept his cell phone close. Ever had your parents hurt your feelings as a child but you knew they were right? That was what I had to do with my dad. I also reminded him that he needed to be thankful that he was at home and could walk. It hurt his feelings but he knew I was right. He has a touch of forgetfulness, but he started being better toward me and my daughter both.

There is a wonderful book called: A Bittersweet Season Caring for our aging parents and ourselves. By Janet Gross It was very helpful to provide some insights from someone who has been there.

A message board to remind him where she is and when she should be getting home might help. If he has favorite tv shows she could write down the name of the show, the time it starts and the channel. Try finding a hobby he enjoys - bird feeders are a favorite of my mom. She loves watching them year round. Maybe ask him to do some chores, everyone wants to feel needed and useful.

My mother also has Parkinson's and has been more than her usual demanding & controlling self in the past two years. She has become much more needy/clingy on my father and me and, since my father's passing last year, it all falls on me.

My mother now resides in a nearby assisted-living facility and, even on days when I spend three or more hours with her, she still calls me no less than five times per day to complain and demand/request me to do or bring her one thing or another. On days when I don't visit, she's usually called between 5 - 10 times and, some days, it's as much as 15 times. I've always been a patient person, but it's really been wearing me out! Explaining to her that I need some "down-time" to process my grief over losing my father, handle estate matters, etc. has made no impact on her. It's all about her and what she wants/need when she wants/needs it, and the sooner I address her concerns the better....for us both. I've figured out that it's anxiety-based and also rooted in compulsion that coincides with the increased intake of Parkinson's medications such as Sinemet (carbidopa/levodopa), which is known to cause compulsive behavior (e.g., gambling, excessive shopping, etc.)

Recently, after a few months' break, my mother resumed taking 0.5 mg Klonopin (generic: Clonozepam) again as a sleep aid; her neurologist allows her to take 0..5 mg every six hours as needed ("PRN"). Her nurses and I have started encouraging her to take a Klonopin in the mid-afternoon since my mother wasn't requesting it but surely needed it to curb her anxiety. (She was not only constantly calling me but getting irritaged and demanding with nursing staff.) In short, on those days when she takes a Klonopin, life is gentler for her...and for me and others. I'm no longer being bombarded with all her many calls and even our conversations are more relaxed.

Although Klonopin is branded as an anti-seizure drug, it is also recommended to people with Parkinson's DIsease as a sleep aid as well as an anti-anxiety medication. It might be something to discuss with your friend so she can discuss it with her father's neurologist. At a low dosage such as 0.5 mg, it just helps to mellow the person with anxiety. When my mother takes it at night, at which time she's not anxious, that same dosage will enable her to sleep. While I'm not an advocate for lots of meds, especially medicating of the elderly, but this is a drug worth considering for anxiety related to Parkinson's Disease.

Hope this helps!

Thank you very much for the responses, actually, all the GREAT responses!! I am going to give these to my friend to read. Have a great day!