Yikes, don't ya just love family! I'm full-time caregiver for my elderly, disabled mother and you would think I was an only child since my brothers don't have a clue what I'm going through. It seems like children want their parents to always be the parent and don't realize that as they age they become more "childlike" and it is then "them" who need the care and assistance. I hope things get better for you and your parents ... but don't expect your family to change. I have waited for 10 years for mine to "get it" and they still don't.

Hugs to you,

Phyllis Ann

Thanks for your advice. Yeah I e-mailed her back, restrained myself from what I really wanted to say to her and still got another lovely e-mail back. I posted them in my journal to. SO yeah, I think I am giving up on them changing and just not going to respond. I don't have the time or strength to deal with them anymore.

Your brother doesn't have a clue of what to do. because he doesn't want to. Then they will be asked to help. I know I 'm there with my mom. Yes we do have help for her. My remaing 7 sibling don't want to help her. What a shame. My mom told me how sad for them one day. The one thing God made fair was everyone walks the same path some faster some slower.
Good Luck
Terrie

Thanks for you input. Still ahve not really heard from my borthers. One has caleld and said he will come down soemtime when he has a chance! The otehr one has not bothered to. MY mother has kept asking over the last few days everything is ready (gifts, food etc) for when they come down. It kills me that they just don't care.

Families can be a challenge. I'm an only child and caring for my mom fulltime(she lives with me) who is in a wheelchair due to post polio and she is legally blind. Some of my family have been absolutely wonderful, what you would hope they would be. But my moms sister still can't deal with the facr that my mom is the way she is now. She gets upset that my mom doesn't call her even though we've told her 20000 times that she can't dial the phone by herself. I guess I put myself in my moms shoes in that if I were that disabled I would hope someone would help me and not let me sit and suffer by myself. I'm blessed with the finances to afford a little help and family members who are there to help and support. Honestly, I couldn't do it without them. But this site has helped me out. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Even the simplest things can be a big thing. Keep up your spirits and put your energy where it will help YOU the most.

A caregiver carries many as they view; hear and feel the transitions. You try your best to carry out their wishes, and in your heart, you know that you did.

For whatever reasons other family members may not be available, is what we cannot control. (I can only try to control my own emotions & forgivness)

I have set up a family website, where others can send pictures so my mother can see. I also can send update and pics. of my mother, and let them know how things are. It is all up to them, for I do what I can to let my relatives know. At least, they cannot say, they didn't know. Good luck! lol

i hear you i do the same for my husband i'm just glad that his family stays out they live to far awy to know what goes on day to day and my family well the only ones that help are my parents and they do understnad what goes on. my sugguestion is make one famly memeber look after mom for the day and maybe they will understand what your going through besides that their nothing much you can do expect ponit out the fact that their aren't their 24/7 to understand what is going on keep you spirits up and take one day at a time

I agree with Champlainlady my husband's daughter did not understand how bad her Dad's dementia was until she looked after him whilst I had a hip replacement op.Think those few weeks aged her about 30 years.(Don't think she will be volunteering to do it again any time soon.) Keep smiling. x.

I am so sorry for your situation and the pain your mother feels. I am caring for my father and you'd think I was an only child. I have 4 living brothers who think it is just part of my being the girl to take care of my father. Plus they do not listen when I update them on my father's condition. They have come to visit in October and my Dad made this monumental effort to appear ok for them. So they think I exaggerate when I tell them how weak he is. The hospice nurse is the only one who understands his condition.
Now I have to go out of state for 6 days soon and am very afraid to leave my father with a brother who doesn't see his actual condition. I am going to hire someone to check on my Dad while I'm gone.

It just really irks me that the "boys" (my brothers) can not and do not want to see what is right before their eyes.

I quit one job in September to stay more with my father and asked my brothers for a little financial help in October- they acted as though I was trying to scam them! They were very aloof and told me they would give me a little money but not to expect it all the time! I should just hire a nurse and send them the bills. Then they'd see what a bargain I am. Am I a little angry? Yes, I am!