Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
hello have been gone from the group for a long time. but i feel i need to come back and be around some supportive friends who are in the same shoes as i am.
i have been through a rough time. i got to the point where i didnt want to care for anyone not even myself. i slipped in a massive depression which not only hurt myself but my wife as well. she felt obligated to help me which she cant do which just caused her more pain and more complications with her illness which in turn made me more depressed. it really was a vicious cycle for a while.
but i finally got some help for the depresion and i feel i am back on track.but i feel so guilty ,. i feel like i abandoned my role as the caregiver wife and friend in this relationship.
i know part of the depresion i went through was me entering into menopuase ( not fun let me tell you) . hormones were out of wack so i know i cant fully blame myself for the depresion but i let my wife suffer for months and didnt care. that is something i feel i will never forgive myself for.
now it seems i have to find a balance between caring for myself and my wife, and im not sure how to do that. can one be a caregiver to oneself and another at the same time?
i have been through a rough time. i got to the point where i didnt want to care for anyone not even myself. i slipped in a massive depression which not only hurt myself but my wife as well. she felt obligated to help me which she cant do which just caused her more pain and more complications with her illness which in turn made me more depressed. it really was a vicious cycle for a while.
but i finally got some help for the depresion and i feel i am back on track.but i feel so guilty ,. i feel like i abandoned my role as the caregiver wife and friend in this relationship.
i know part of the depresion i went through was me entering into menopuase ( not fun let me tell you) . hormones were out of wack so i know i cant fully blame myself for the depresion but i let my wife suffer for months and didnt care. that is something i feel i will never forgive myself for.
now it seems i have to find a balance between caring for myself and my wife, and im not sure how to do that. can one be a caregiver to oneself and another at the same time?
All caregivers need to care for themselves or they can't help their loved one like they want to. You were smart realizing that !
Hang in there !
Hugs, Phoebe
forgive yourself. you did more than you could until you made yourself ill. let it go.
my balance is that sometimes I am with my husband and sometimes with my mom...and right now, they are both doing ok...fairly well....but I have been lucky so far that both aren't in crisis at the same time.
I try...everyday...to take a walk with the dog, to take a few minutes alone for my thoughts and I used to (and hope to again) do some yoga. I found out this week, that burning the candle at both ends (a trip with mom and coming home and working too hard on stuff here) that I fried myself and today I was just bone tired, weary and sick...but it made me rest. reminding me I am out of balance.
Oh...I also talk to strangers...on my walks, at stores, wherever. I enjoy meeting people. and sometimes I learn stuff.