Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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I made it!

pchamness
pchamness
Well, I wasn't sure I could get through the holidays, but I made it. The whole holiday thing has been very hard. My husband and I live on a very small social security check so there was no extra money to buy my grandkids presents and then last Friday my husband went to the hospital with the flu and kidney failure. He has heart disease, COPD, pulmonary hypertention,central sleep apnea so now he is not sleeping, diabetes blind in his one eye and a cataract in the other and deaf. They had him on five different anti-depressants and fifteen other pills to help him breathe and stay alive. They changed all of his meds and then he gets mad at me and says mean things like he wants a divorce and I am not taking good enough care of him. I know he doesn't mean it but it still hurts. He has not gotten much better this week, his blood sugar keeps dropping cuz they changed his diabetes medicine. The thing is I cant talk to a Dr. becuase of the holiday so I spoke to the pharmacist and just keep testing his levels and trying to keep them right until the holiday is over. He also has a pain in his kidney. It is so hard because I don't know if he will get better or if he is just going to keep going downhill really fast.. He has three stints in his heart but had heart cath last week and heart doc says he is okay at this time. Lung doc says there isn't anything else they can do(as sick as he is, he still smokes, tries to quit but can't, had one cigarette yesterday and one today) He has been sick for the last ten years and I never thought he would make it this long. It is just so hard not knowing what is going to happen next. Thanks for listening, I have no-one else to talk to.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You did it! Be proud and Thank God EVERYDAY for the strength he has given you to handle all this. My parents also live on a monthly SSI check and they didnt have any extra for gifts but I'm blessed to have both still here w./me and that's the best present I CAN EVER HAVE,after all they have been through w/stroke (Dad) and heart attack and later a fall that fracture her knee (Mom). stay strong!
BesideStillWaters
BesideStillWaters
Hi,
Your situation is very similar to mine and yes the holidays were very difficult. My husband was in the hospital for ours and I just didn't know what to think. Illness does cause one to strike out at the caregiver/wife etc. It sometimes is like one really bad rollercoaster ride, just hang in there. I have been with my husband for 30 years and I know of the up and downs when they choose not to take care of themselves and then in the end it falls to us. I wil be here if and when you would like to write. Many hugs to you.
zzztop
zzztop
I GIVE YOU SO MUCH CREDIT. I FEEL SICK MY HUSBAND HAS CHARCOTS FOOT DISEASE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE NOW THEY SAY 3RD STAGE KIDNEY DISEASE. I HAVE NO FAMILY, AND I FEEL SO MUCH RESENT ANGER, ALL KINDS OF EMOTIONS GOING UP AND DOWN IN ME . OVER MAYBE BEING A CARETAKER AGAIN I HAVE NO LIFE ANYMORE. LONG STOREY MY ONLY DAUGHTER DIED IN 2003 FROM LUPUS THEN IN 2004 IS WHEN MY HUSBAND GOT CHARCOTTS USUALL PEOPLE WITH DIABETIS GET THIS HORRIBLE DISEASE. NO GOOD MEDICAL CARE . I CAN,T TAKE FEELING GUILTY ALL THE TIME OVER MY FEELINGS I HAVE HAD A HARD LIFE AND I DO FEEL SORRY FOR HIM. AND THIS CAUSES ME SO MUCH ANXIETY I CAN,T BEAR IT . THANK YOU FOR LISTENING ZZZ
pchamness
pchamness
Yes it is hard, our husbands have similar illness, the kidney disease with my husband is just beginning along with what else he has, I am sorry your husband is getting so bad. I do hope that you have faith in God because at this time in your life there is not a whole lot else to keep us together. I will pray for us all as I know with God's blessings we will all make it through these hard times with our loved ones. You can do it. Just pray for strength and you will make it.
Sandy102142
Sandy102142
Their illnesses take over every minute of our lives don't they? In and out of hospitals, dr appointments. Fitting my appointments in always take the back burner. Making sure they take thier meds. I can usually handle his physical illnesses, as tiring as it can be. Prayer gets me through it.

It's the mental illnesses brought on by the illness, meds, sleep deprivation, and sometimes stubborness that are hard to take. I get tired of being yelled at and have to listen to his sarcasm. I have no family to lean on, friends are beyond arms length now because I have no time for them. And I don't want to be a complainer so I never tell anyone all that I deal with. Thank goodness for boards like these!!!! God has provided them for a reason. I pray 2011 is a brighter one for all of us.