I just posted this on my profile status a couple of days ago, so have to share it based on your post: " Life isn't fair, but it's all we've got. Though we may not like it, it's what we have to deal with as best we can".

All we can do is take each day and make the most of it. Sometimes that may not be much, but if we do the best we can, there is nothing more we can do. Be satisfied with the small successes, and give yourself a big pat on the back for those major successes.

At least you're nearing the end of the tunnel to see the light..........

Honey, if I would've/could've seen the future, could've known my husband's health would go down hill, and, um, don't even ask about his family!! ga! You know, if I'd have known, seen a glimpse of the future, I might have run for the door the minute he said "hello"....

But, how can anyone know?

And we had many many good times together. And I guess I wouldn't exchange that for anything.

Try to keep those good memories alive. Remember why you got into this relationship in the first place. And hang in there.

I, for one, truly believe there is a reason for all of this. Just do your best. And keep the faith.

Sending you a big hug!

I think the "female/woman/caregiver" role that we play in live, always the "nutruing one", the one with the sense of responsibility and commitment comes out in times like these. My husband has had health issues since 1995, went thru a heart transplant, had 9 eye surgeries, suffers from COPD, inability to walk well, etc. In 2004, he pulled a real devastating act ( I won't go into detail) that gave me every opportunity to walk out and no one would have blamed me. I thought about it for about a month and decided that our marriage was for better or worse, and even though I definitely would have been better off without him, I could not leave him as his health issues were just too huge and he would have no family support. (His family was severly affected in that devasting act, and still 9 year later, he does not have their support) So I stayed. The problem is that I have resentment towards him and am not a very happy person. My life for the last 18 years has revolved around his health issues, his care, and our life is tailored to his needs. But I can get by daily, and try to keep myself in good spirits. I can honestly say I don't love him any longer, but I do care about him. But in my mind I am only a caregiver anymore. I hope your journey with your family improves since you have made the decision to stay.

As people well know being a care giver for someone ( weather be spouse, father, mother, ect. ) can be devistating and so fourth, the problem with married couples in which one spouse gets ill or termanally ill, sometimes the problems go much deeper than the stresses of care giving duties, sometimes ther are issues before illness and the anger, resentment and guilt gets worse as the illness progresses, if some one would have laid out my life since I met my wife until now ( going to the hospitol 12 times per month and dealing with 2 cancers ) I still would be all in, but thats me. Dont get me wrong, me and my wife still have disagreements, we argue, sometimes we dont see eye to eye on things, but she loves me and I love her, she needs me and I need her, some people are not as fourtunate, my wife is olny 36 and we have a 9 year old son, she has a termanal disease ( therapy related aml ) she didnt do anything to deserve what she is going thru, as so do a lot of other people weather be caregiver or patient on this site, every day isnt going to be good....but thats ok....the grass isnt allways greener on the other side....shits allways flying around somewhere...sometimes it lands on you....sometimes it lands on me we all have a limited amount of time on this earth...its not about how much time you have, but what you do with that time, and sometimes it ok...just to do nothing....Love and Prayers....Billy and Tina

I WAS READING ALL THE POST AND I AGREE WE NEVER PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT WE WILL BE DEALT IN LIFE. I REALLY BELIEVE GOD DOESN'T LET US KNOW THE WHOLE PICTURE BECAUSE WE WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT ALL. WE'RE GOING THROUGH A LOT HERE BUT I WOULDN'T LEAVE MY HUSBAND BECAUSE WE LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH AND WE TAKE OUR VOWS VERY SERIOUSLY. I TELL HIM WE'VE BEEN THROUGH IT ALL-THE FOR RICHER THE POORER, THE FOR BETTER FOR WORSE, THE IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH. THE ONLY THING WE HAVEN'T BEEN THROUGH IS THE TIL DO US PART AND I HOPE IT'S A LONG TIME FROM NOW.
HE'S A VIETNAM VETERAN WHO IS SERVICE CONNECTED THROUGH THE AGENT ORANGE AND PTSD. HE WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH THE BEGINNING STAGES OF ALZHEIMERS. HE HAS A LOT OF HEALTH PROBLEMS THAT GO ALONG WITH THE AGENT ORANGE AND HE TAKES OVER 35 PILLS A DAY.
I'M HIS CARE GIVER BUT I'M ALSO ON DISABILITY WITH FIBROMYALGIA AND ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT GO ALONG WITH IT.
WE HAVE A STRONG FAMILY SUPPORT AND OUR CHURCH FAMILY AND FRIENDS WE HAVE MET ARE A GREAT SUPPORT FOR US. I ALSO GET A LOT OF SUPPORT FROM MY DS FRIENDS. WE ARE VERY BLESSED AND WE GIVE GOD ALL THE GLORY.