Hi friend, I totally know where you're coming from. It hurts to try to pretend things are alright and the holidays make it so much more harder.

Noone can let us down quite like our own families. They don't understand and truth be known they'd rather NOT be reminded. Sorry if that sounds unkind.

I know it's hard to keep positive, but don't give up. Do what is easiest for you. Your grandmother may not even notice if you don't put up a tree.

Enjoy your "Me" time while she's at the senior center.

Sending you lot's of soft hugs and prayers for strength, Gwen :-)

I know and understand that lack of Holiday joy and excitement. This is the second Christmas in a row with my wife in the Nursing Home, but this year she is under Hospice care. Last year I still put up the tree and decorated the house, but this year I just don't have the "Christmas Spirit". No tree, no decorations, but have kept as busy as possible baking dozens of cookies and making lots of candy to share. I've also noticed a lot more loneliness this year than in the past.

My adult son and daughter & families know and understand what I have been experiencing with the caregiving over the past 5 years, but siblings, relatives, and "old friends" sure don't.

Enjoy that free time when your grandmother is at the senior center. All too often, caregivers don't get that time to themselves.

Even though it is a tough time of the year for you, do have a very Merry Christmas as best you can.

Hugs, Dan

you know...when my husband became ill i was more than totally shocked at family! we went from being in the military (him) and looking forward to our next duty station being Italy to wondering what we were going to do and where were we going to go. we needed help until we could get some income flowing. we had savings and i thank God for that because my son offered us his place to stay and i could help him financially and not be a burden. plus my son remembered his momma's cooking.
when we came around family and moved in with my son he was gracious. he didn't mind a bit to help me lift or even give me a break away from the house. but the rest of the family.... you would of either thought nothing in the world was wrong or they were mad because we were not "there" for them. my husband, bless his heart, took this better than i did at times. his family was a nightmare toward him which hurt me...but a military man, fresh out of war, then his life turned upside down, in chronic pain would give them an ear full to the point that they did not call back for awhile.lol
i have made up my mind, because i have times of deep sadness, to really look for blessings and not allow them to get by me.
the other day on a doc. run i pulled in to get me a quick burger before running to another doc appointment. the guy at the window greeted me with a flashing smile and he was so nice saying "thank you mam." before i drove off i said "thank you for that pretty smile and your kindness."
everyone in this life faces hard times in different ways and i have wrapped my head and heart around that. so when it gets hard, esp now during Christmas, i look for anything that makes my heart smile. even if it's a new dog or kitten in the neighborhood that needs a pet.
and for most "family" i have learned i am better off at times to be away from them. my husband and i already cope with enough and i don't want or need their stuff piled on me to. esp if it is something they can take of themselves.

loveblued, You are so right. My immediate family, my son and two daughter's have been extremely gracious. They have gone above and beyond for me and my husband since his massive stroke. It was the rest of our family that preferred we just "go away".

You are an inspiration to me my friend. Ilove what you said "Look for anything to make your heart smile".

Tonight YOU made my heart smile ! Thank you.

Many hugs, Gwen :-)