I hear you Kiddo ! I do the exact same thing including the coffee before my husband wakes up. I call it "My quiet time". I don't even answer the phone because this is the only time during my waking hours I can feel normal again ! Once hubby wakes up all my caregiving chores descend upon me......sigh.

I hope you enjoyed your bit of sanity today my friend ! You know you are not alone in this Caregiving community, we're all here for you, as you always are here for us !

Big hugs, Gwen :-)

I feel like hiding in dark corner. His family is over here almost all the time now. I can't handle standing over him 24/7. It would help him if I did. The family seems to think I don't do enough. People like our inlaws have got to learn that waiting on someone hand and foot isn't the answer.

Someone once told me I'm going to get cancer from my coffee mate coffee creamer. lol I told her you find a better way for me to stay up all night and I'll give it a try.

Considering her lifestyle of open relationships (b/c this type of lifestyle choice can also increase cancer) I suggest she take care of her self and leave me cancer causing creamer to my business lol

my mom requires constant attention now. when she naps i nap also. i feel worthless napping in the middle of the day but i suppose other carers would understand. i honestly hope her heart fails before dementia is fully played out. not for my sake but for hers. i visited mental illness a time or two on hepc treatments and it is agonizing to lose a thought mid sentence. it was every bit as debilitating as a physical impairment. caring for the mentally ill isnt a picnic either. some of the crap they say just makes your brain smoke..

On the topic of dementia my family and I have concerns my grandma has dementia. My grandma also has this concern for herself. She has quite reading due to this. She can't keep her reading straight I guess. She is very prideful and continues working in her yard. I plan to help her (if she will let me).

I know better being in the field and caring for others with dementia but it's not helping as much. What steps have those that deal with this have you taken in this area?
I am thinking at this early stage to keep things normal, visit as much as possible and help her with out letting her feel I am helping so she will feel unthreatened. My question is, is this enough?? At least it will calm my mind in that area.

everybodys brain slows down as we age but later stage dementia is rapid and very turbulent. nearly all emotions are affected and the elder lies like a rug on valium. at some point the confused person may even turn on the carer. thats damn scary to put yourself in a vulnerable position ( losing wages ) and find yourself at the whim of a phsyco. you try to protect them and to outsiders it appears that your exploiting them for your own gain. ill say this, you learn to stand toe to toe with dickholes who misread your predicament.
anyway suzanne, i always ask my mom if shed like some help when i see her struggling with something. her dignity isnt offended , its her decision to accept help or not..

So glad to read your post and the others. I do the same thing as well. I have even gotten my husband to the point that I know he is awake but he will act like he is still asleep till I have my French Vanilla Cappuccino and a cig. He is a smoker as well and he would wake up and that would be the first thing out of his mouth. "Get me a cig." That would make me so mad. I would yell and tell him I haven't even had mine this morning. It is all about you. Well I guess finally he got tired of the yelling so he plays asleep now. It is true that once he is a wake then that's when the day really starts. I am so glad to have found this group. It so very much helps to know I am not alone. Hugs to all of you.

lol. the niece who shops for us recently brought me a big can of decaf coffee. i tried it one morning and couldnt help but think; damn, wish i had some nicotene free tobacco to go with this black water..