Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
Just venting here- How does one let go of guilt & frustration for reversal of Caregiving roles?
Since early 2011 I've been my husband's caregiver. He was injured in a tractor trailer accident (not his fault) & eventually had spinal fusion surgery. Surgery was a failure & he is in the same state of physical being & pain now, just as he was in the beginning.
About 6 weeks ago, I had an epileptic seizure. During the Grand Mal seizure, I crushed 4 bones in my spine during the violence of the muscle contractions. (I have Osteoporosis, so that was easy to do.) Using the traditional 1 - 10 Pain Scale, the pain has subsided from about a 92 down to about 7, with daily spikes up to 10.
Now, Hubby had to step up to the plate in his wretched condition & care for me. When he is not in the room, I sometimes cry, because his pain is getting the best of him & my guilt is getting the best of me.
I've progressed in my healing & can do some things on my own, but it's not fast enough to help let go of my guilt, or get back to handling everything on my own as I had done for so long.
I have called about home care though our insurance, but they don't provide the specific services I need. I can pay through insurance for someone to come over a few times a week to help me shower or wipe my butt; however, what I really need is help keeping up with household cleaning chores. They don't do that.
Neither of us has family close enough (geographically) to come over & help. We have one friend who has been outstanding- our friend next town over. He's a Culinary Institute of America Chef. He's been dropping off left over food, which I promptly (as possible) portion out & freeze for future meals.
Oh well, just venting. There's nothing to be done except to wait for Time to do it's thing. And, I simply have to let go of the guilt, as there is nothing else we can do for ourselves right now.
The Future? It will be better, but the Now is kinda difficult & I'm impatient to get to the Future...
Since early 2011 I've been my husband's caregiver. He was injured in a tractor trailer accident (not his fault) & eventually had spinal fusion surgery. Surgery was a failure & he is in the same state of physical being & pain now, just as he was in the beginning.
About 6 weeks ago, I had an epileptic seizure. During the Grand Mal seizure, I crushed 4 bones in my spine during the violence of the muscle contractions. (I have Osteoporosis, so that was easy to do.) Using the traditional 1 - 10 Pain Scale, the pain has subsided from about a 92 down to about 7, with daily spikes up to 10.
Now, Hubby had to step up to the plate in his wretched condition & care for me. When he is not in the room, I sometimes cry, because his pain is getting the best of him & my guilt is getting the best of me.
I've progressed in my healing & can do some things on my own, but it's not fast enough to help let go of my guilt, or get back to handling everything on my own as I had done for so long.
I have called about home care though our insurance, but they don't provide the specific services I need. I can pay through insurance for someone to come over a few times a week to help me shower or wipe my butt; however, what I really need is help keeping up with household cleaning chores. They don't do that.
Neither of us has family close enough (geographically) to come over & help. We have one friend who has been outstanding- our friend next town over. He's a Culinary Institute of America Chef. He's been dropping off left over food, which I promptly (as possible) portion out & freeze for future meals.
Oh well, just venting. There's nothing to be done except to wait for Time to do it's thing. And, I simply have to let go of the guilt, as there is nothing else we can do for ourselves right now.
The Future? It will be better, but the Now is kinda difficult & I'm impatient to get to the Future...
Sending many hugs and get well wishes for you both !
Phoebes :-)
Lots of hugs, Dan
May you each get through this difficult time, together, each doing what you are able to, for one another.
Loves to all, MelodyJane
I think you're mending as you should and that's causing some anxiety that you would like the healing process to finalize so you can get back to your old tasks.
It takes time to heal and heal properly; you'll both get through this and will be able to look back on this time as "been there, done that"
You both sound like a very nice and mutually loving couple that wants to be there for each other. Life's challenges sometimes are not fair.