Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
My 80 year old husband, when he cannot do something (such as open a bottle) like he did before all his health problems, has a tendency to throw things and cuss like a Marine Corp Drill Sargent. He's already had two tantrums that have caused physical issues. I've tried to tell him that one of these days, it's going to cause him a lot of problems if he loses his temper to the degree I have been seeing, but he won't listen (mmmm...maybe I should just shrug my shoulders and shut up!) I'm tired of the rants, the foul mouth, him throwing things, and keep wondering when he is going to get so upset he is going to fall. One day he decided to slam his cane down on the floor from high in the air, and he went right down on the floor. Any one else have these issues?
Mom cries- and she was never a cry-er....last time calling my brother (for the first time) and he came rushing up like the house was on fire. She was frustrated trying to turn the outside water off.
Husband gets frustrated and tends to then get clumsy as he gets upset and break things...then get more upset and finally get depressed and say things like "I wish I would just die and get it over with" or something like that...and expect me to cheer him up.
I have little patience for it. I tend to walk away. sometimes afterwards I might try and talk about it...usually, I leave the pity party to the whine-er and ignore it...it is better for my blood pressure.
So, can you just walk away to another part of the house? With less of an audience does the behavior get better? It does not here...but maybe because he is so loud, he knows I can still hear him?????
sometimes I want to just be as bad as they are...but then I would be the one to come off as the nut!
He pushed the cart, then, to open a bag for apples, he licked his fingers. I almost threw up. No wonder he keeps on getting sick.
every day he decides he is better and won't take his cold medicine...then gets all runny and disgusting and moans....
He may not make it another year, I may lose my nut.
I don't know how you do it. I am getting headaches.
sometimes I just walk away, and sometimes I just tell him that his behavior is unacceptable, but that usually doesn't help.
I am still at the point with him, that he knows when he was wrong...even if he doesn't take full responsibility...and sometimes says I should be nicer to him sooner afterwards, because I don't know what he is dealing with.....I remind him that he would not like to be treated that way either and sometimes I just need space..
blah blah blah...between the diabetes and low sugars and high sugars and the cold (going on 6 weeks now) and all the rest....I just think I need to do more for myself to de-stress...I don't think I have been successful in stopping his tantrums yet. I just try not to let them get to ME...I read lots of books on detachment.
and sometimes I vent here.
and sometimes I go out on an errand and eat stuff he can't and enjoy forbidden treats.