Hello! I am a young adult taking care of my mother who has mid-stage dementia. Latest challenges are that she has no sensation of having eaten so she keeps reeating and she has a sense of entitltement about my time and attention. 

I could talk for days about how hard it has been to watch her decline and how sad it is to watch her struggle with basic things daily. She is 61, and I see her peers enjoying life and living well. Hurts like hell. But I wont talk about it for long. 

What hurts even more though is having no one in the family I can trust to help me.

- One sibling, who habitually lies and steals without remorse since childhood (feel 98% sure she is a sociopath, 100% sure she has some APD)

- Aunties who have these unheard of expectations of me, such as being around my mother 24/7, and who seem too invested in how I help my mother manage money 

- Aunties who call and shout at me for things they THINK I am not doing, although they have never spent a day living with her and at first told me she was pretending to lose her memory. They dont help but they are the loudest critics. 

What is already a nightmare and hard to go through feels 10,000,000 times harder because I am literally hiding things from family members because I know they cant be trusted to know everything. It also means I have to do basically all chores myself... cant ask anyone to take her to the doc, cause I dont want to give them money and have them ask me how much she gets in pension each month. 

Feel so overwhelmed and sad most days. Wonder if there are any other dementia caregivers here who have a sibling they cant trust, which just complicates things. 

My mother things she has a normal, loving daughter in my sibling, so anything estate planning related (which I will have to do soon) will have to include my sibling. Honestly, she is the kind of person I would never include in a will much less to make her know she is ON one and slated to receive things when I die. It is a true mess.