Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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caring for my wife

2earlyriser
2earlyriser
I've decided I need support. I have been my wife's total caregiver for a few years. Lately her needs have been greater than I expected. I love my wife dearly and will do anything for her. I always put her needs ahead of mine. I've been told to self-care by a few people. I do take time for myself three times a week. I go to the park and read a book for an hour. I can't leave her alone for more than that. Recently she's been falling a lot. 7 times this month. We've been to the emergency room several times. She was admitted for observations once. The hospital staff told us she needs 24-hour nursing care, but our insurance won't pay for it. So I am doing all I can to help make her life the best possible. It surely isn't easy. Is there any advice for what to do to make sure I don't get burned out? I felt overwhelmed the other day to the point of tears. I will also try to support others here. I now understand what it means to feel alone with a mountain of burdens.
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
Oh my goodness. the falls alone would make me cry.
Can you have an occupational therapist do an evaluation? if so, they may be able to get some equipment that could be of help....and show you how to do transfers in a safe way for you and her....
can friends come and stay once a week for you to get out a bit longer?
Home health care....is any of it covered?
I hope you can get some support here...venting, talking...all of it helps me.
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
I was thinking about this....who said she needed 24 hour care, and can they argue with your insurance company along your side?

is there a social worker at the hospital that you had to go to? they were helpful to me when I was helping a neighbor....who had no other help. They got me resources.

is your wife on disability? medicare?
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
http://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/

https://www.medicare.gov/campaigns/caregiver/caregiver.html

https://www.medicare.gov/campaigns/caregiver/caregiver.html

https://www.caregiver.org/frequently-asked-questions
ajm1959
ajm1959
good points blue. My parents were allowed 120 days in rehab each time they went to the hospital. rehab was a nice word for nursing home. Medicare paid for that but like I said they had to be admitted to the hospital first. hugs Arlene
KiddoGal
KiddoGal
Welcome to the Caregivers Group! You do have a mountain of burdens facing you, and anytime you need to vent, cry, just put out your feelings, this is a good place to do that. We all feel what you are going thru. While my husband can be left alone during the day, it is getting harder and harder for him to be alone. He does not see well, has balance issues (has fallen a few times) and generally, if I go out of town, do have to arrange for caregiving help. I'm still running a business, but now that probably within the next year or so, I may have to retire due to his declining health issues. I was able to find a few good caregivers (actually one thru Craig's List) an another thru a referral. I hope you do get some caregiving help in so you can take time for yourself. The advice I do give you so you won't get too burned out is yes, do get caregiver help to come in, maybe just a few hours a few times a week so you can get out and take a breather. I don't know if I would have any sanity left if I did not have caregiver help.
2earlyriser
2earlyriser
Thank you all for your suggestions and advice. Yesterday I hired some people to come in a few hours a week. It is cheaper than a nursing home. I will see if they can show me how to safely transfer her. The social worker at the hospital told us Medicare and our retirement insurance won't pay for long-term care because the hospital did not "admit" her but put her in "under observation". They did that because they couldn't find anything biologically wrong with. No infection, broken bones and signs of heart attack or stroke. Therefore Medicare wouldn't pay. She was in a home last year for two months and they paid some of it. But that was because she had an infection and dehydration...not to mention several falls. I look forward to supporting you. Again thank you for your suggestions...