Andelene, first of all you are definitely not alone in all this! We all go through times of stress, crankiness, depression, etc. There are times when I find myself being short or snappish with my grandmother and I feel so guilty but we all know that there are times when it is just so darn hard to be a caregiver.

Do you have friends or family you could sit and down and have a good talk with? Tell them what you've told us. I've seen quite a lot that people who are outside this situation really don't know how to help, even though they want to. And we're so busy trying to be strong and brave we don't know how to ask for help.

Hopefully maybe you can find a way to get some more personal time or time to do little things to take care of yourself. I've found that even a short drive listening to music for half an hour can really bring my spirits up. Good luck and remember that taking care of yourself is an important part of being a good caregiver!

*hugs*

Andelene, remember that God is always with you. He will never abandon you no matter how fierce the fire is. I think we all get ourselves in situations where we don't see a way out. Maybe we need to stop, take a deep breath, and step back to view the situation and think about what's going on. Can you take a break from caregiving for a day or two? Remember you have to take care of yourself first!

The stress of caregiving can put any one of us into the foulest of moods, from anger and outbursts to depression and isolation. The hardships you've had to deal with caring for your daughter has to be the most stressing of all caregiving. I don't know why it is that family and friends tend to abandon us caregivers, but most do.

Perhaps you could talk with your church pastor/priest. Another source for an "ear" to bend could be a psychologist in your area. Don't be afraid to use your journal here on DS or lean on your DS friends. You are free to message me anytime and use my shoulders too, and I'll do the best I can to help.

We caregivers have the most difficult job in the world, but by leaning on each other, our job becomes just a bit easier.

Hugs & prayers

oh, yeah, sometimes I rant and rave and get REALLY angry about this situation. About two months ago I got really mad at God, and let him have it! (Seems like I was getting way to much dumped on me) But then I calmed down, and told him it was only because it had been a very tough week and he got the brunt of my frustration. Thank goodness He's there to listen!!

I understand your issues and know how short a fuse can get on a caregivers nerves.

I don't know why caregivers don't get more help from family or friends or even the healthcare profession. The unhappy reality is we just don't. Maybe because we aren't as active being out and about as we were, so they really don't know we need the help. Maybe it just looks like we have it all together. And I guess most times we do. So when we loose it they just figure we'll deal with it. But I have experienced the need for help a time or two and those who claimed they would help if I needed it made excuses and/or backed away. Even hubby's children and one of my family have let me drown after I outright asked for help. I was at my wits end and even begging didn't get me anywhere. Those things really hurt.

Remember all of us here on DS are here for you whenever you need to talk or vent. We may not be by your side physically but are right there with you emotionally. Message me whenever you need an ear or support.

Hugs and prayers
Sandy

I might sound like the biggest bitch in the world or maybe it is hard for me to comprehend, Why do I have to be a caregiver??? why do I have to give up everything I love to do. My animals walking feeling happy. Why does my husband,s feet, and operation and bad teeth and kidneys why is it now my sickness to??? To me it is not fair. I have been with this man 18years, he has never been that great to me. I know people are reading this and thinking will (Its, not his fault, If it was my husband I love him I want to give up my whole life for him thats what we are suspose to do , "right" or feel guilty, have people look at you like your just no good and don,t "love" him or I would not mind at all giving up my life to be a nurse made till I drop dead from exhaustion. I,am tired of it I,am 68 yrs old have had a horrible life as a child married 4 times my daughter died 10 years ago my only child, my whole family is ((dead)). This guy even before he got this Charcott Foot Disease was a selfish man . his whole life with me is his car races, and sitting. Does nothing ever with me. . And I can not just move out in this day in age. I have my dogs. I know I sound like a whinny baby, put on my big girl pance , hold all your sadness and misery and lonliness inside you and put that smiley face on. While deep inside you are so tird, burnt out, see no light at the end of the tunnel, just work, work, work, worry , worry, give up your dreams, they are gone. I was so tired today, my head hurts, I ache everywhere lifting heavy bags of grocery, just everything. wake up in the morning already tired. i resent it. I,am a human being to if I get real sick I would not expect him to give everything he loves up for me. Who knows, all I know everybody is differant. Sometimes you just can, deal with all the misery. I can,t. It took my daughter 81 days to die, it killed me. She had Lupus for 13 years. her husband died of cancer he was only 44 she could not deal with it she got real sick.. no it is not (((fair))) if you have a sick person with you, I think the whole family should offer to help you. even just making a small meal and bringing it to you doing the dishes, you can love some one with all your heart and soul. But to give up your own life "NO" I don,t see it at all I think it is a mean thing to aske one person to do. and I hate it all. These are my feelings and I had to express this somewhere I just want to cry, My life is over now His sickness has become mine , his drs, , operations crabby losey attitude his just sitting and watching tv 24 hrs. aday. That is my life now to , plus all the work, ((GREAT LIFE)))))). THANKS FOR LISTENING .