I don't know if your experience with health care professionals is normal, but it's what I've also experienced while caring for my sister. I've taken her to a lot of doctors over the past year and have yet to find one who even gives a damn.

Hello ThnkngOutLoud, I am sorry about your mom's health. Is great and wonderful that you are taking care of her. My sister is caring for my other sis who is ill and my mom who is unable to walk and hence takes car eof her fo everything. It is exhausting for my sister and I live far away and when Ic all my sis..my sis does not even have couple of minutes to talk with me and the main reason is..it becomes overwhelming for the caregiver for sure. I usually tell this to my sister and sharing with you now. Please ignore if I do not make sense. I know and it is difficult to see your mom deteriorating..but f possible..try to surrener all your burdens and feelings and emotions to God by doing whatever you can. also..if possible..do not worry of being perpect or t see ur role as perfectinism...just do the best. its okay if its not perfect..just aking with your mom gently with whatever you want to accomplish thro the doctors would be great.

Please remember that this caregiving is like a marathon..so u do not run very fst from the beginning..u start running slow and steady and slowly u will reach the final point..but again..there is no final point as such. we worry with so much overwhhelming feelings for our lovd ones and our emotions definitely take over. even though I mentioned caregiving a smarathon..if possible..slowly try to take only one day at a time.all the burdens from your shoulder..just transfer it to God everyday..and remember you are not alone and God is watching all over us. Please try to focus only one one day at a a time if its possible. I hope this helps.

My prayers so you feel God's presence in your heart and you getenergized and feel peaceful in ur heart in handling all these hospital/doctors stuff also.

Regards.

ThinkingOutLoud, unfortunately my experiences have been the same with health care providers. My husband was in ICU recovering from surgery and was supposed to be discharged the following day when he had a stroke--in ICU--and NO ONE NOTICED! The best the docs could tell me is that he had a stroke sometime between 9:30 p.m. and 9:00 a.m. WHEN I CAME IN FOUND HIM. And, oh, they were so sorry but "too much time had passed" with his brain w/o oxygen and so is 80% damaged and he is now severely disabled.....

He was hospitalized for three months and is now home, but in that time I cannot count the number of medical mistakes I have encountered and caught before they inadvertently damaged him more. And also all the times I had to run and get help for him because no one was around or answering a call light. I feel terribly sad for all the patients I saw who did not have an advocate by their side. Your mother is lucky you are there for her.

There is a big problem with our health care system which is it is run like a business and the bottom line is money, so the facilities are understaffed and the staff they have are overworked and it is the patients and their families who suffer.

ThinkingOutLoud, it will get easier as you get used to this system and learn your way around. You will find yourself becoming stronger as time goes on. Bless you for helping your mother. She does need you.

Molly

We caregivers are so exhausted all the time, angry some of the time, and sad most of the time. I am the caregiver for my partner whom I met 3 1/2 years ago. He has cancer and is wasting away before my very eyes. We have found Hospice to be a very reliable resource. An aide comes 3 times a week to shower Jeff, his nurse comes once a week at this time., but is available at all times and his social worker comes every couple of weeks. All meds and supplies are delivered to our door. They are available 24/7 which is a blessing. and they coordinate things with your doctors, as well. I find them a very needed resource at this stage.of Jeff's cancer. Hospice might give you the relief you need as a caregiver.
Hugs,
Alice

Sadly my experience has been the same with healthcare providers. I'm in my husband's hospital or nursing home room (depending) 6 to 10 hours a day everyday to assess, direct, observe, point out, push, and be his voice. It's the hardest damn thing I've done in my 50 years of hard damn things.

I've often thought, "I KNOW that tons of people have gone through this before. How did they ever get through it?!"

Please be sure to take care of YOU in the process! Hang in there, you aren't as alone as you may think you are from time-to-time. We're with you!

Hugs!

Kiki

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.
I've had a fairly good experience (i live in england,) but that's not to say that all care providers have been good and not all have been consistant. When i look back to the early days following my sons accident i don't know how we got through it. Stays in hospital have been challenging but i just keep pushing and challenging back! If something isn't working for us i make alot of noise until it changes. My biggest disappointment is when i felt that i couldn't cope I was still expected to fight my sons corner, who was fighting mine? I wrote articles in the newspapers and contacted my local politicians for support.
I wish you well thinking out loud and pray that things improve for you in the support you get. It must be so painful to watch your mom's suffering x x

i can relate on how overwelmed you feel right now! My mom had an accident 4 years ago that has left her with a brain injury and bedbound. My dad cared for her most of the time but i helped. well about a year and a half ago he suffered a severe heart attack and was diagnosed with stage 4 congestive heart failure. After this i had to care for both of them...my dad passed away nov. 2010 and now i jus care for my mom which is much easier than caring for 2 people, but its still overwelming and stressful. and there are times i jus break down and cry and tell myself i cant do this anymore. But being a caretaker is a hard job...it doesnt get easier. But what you are doin is such an amazing thing and selfless act caring for your mom. And it will be okay...you will make it through this. STAY STRONG!!!! Wish you the best of luck!!

OMGOSH, Thanks to all who have responded to my post - - this feels so nice to have a place to relate my experiences and be cradled in the reality that others are going through similarly extreme situations and doing it selflessly and with determination. I am in awe of everyone's responses and your stories. I send you all my love and support and hope that as time progresses I can be as inspiring to others as you all have been to me tonight. My mom is home from a hospital stay - seven days and half was spent at a rehab hospital since they shuffle you out of the hospital so quickly in the states...and well she was so darn weak. We have had great luck with the SYSTEM so far...now that I am in the system...The oncologist was the leg of the journey that dropped the ball - which spawned my mom being hospitalized to begin wiith...now that we have a social worker and all the Medicare stuff has kicked in it is great. Now I just have to keep my mom motivated to keep up the hard work of getting her strength back. Thanks CareGivers...you are my shot in the arm tonight...