Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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can't get over guilt!

aurorio
aurorio
in a strange predicament/mood...the last couple of months have been hard, very stressful, tiring, etc. my grandmother is up a lot at night, then up all day. it's hard to find overnight help that can do a good job with her. so i am tired and sad a lot. but now i have a chance to get away for a week, and she would be staying in a very nice assisted living facility. this is something i've been wanting for so long, but now I feel so guilty and sad. i can't decide what to do. i've been wanting a break for a long time and i probably need it. but i feel like a horrible person for leaving her there (even though it's a super nice place). what do I do? :(
deleted_user
deleted_user
Go on your respite trip my friend. Don't feel guilty, it's better for your grandmother if you are happy and refreshed after a nice break.

She will probably enjoy the change as well !

I hope you have a wonderful get-away, and remember you deserve this break.

Many hugs, Gwen
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi Aurorio ! Gwen is right. No need to feel guilty at all. Everyone that knows about health care ( from caregivers to Doctors) will tell you respite is absolutely critical for the well being of the caregiver AND the patient. Enjoy your time off. Recharge and you will both be better off for it. Take care , John
deleted_user
deleted_user
Take your respite trip you have been looking forward to, and try to leave the guilt behind. It sounds to me she will be well cared for during the time you are gone, and you definitely need the break.

When you return to the caregiving after your respite time, you'll be feeling much better both mentally and physically.

I have learned from 5 years of 24/7 caregiving, that anytime you have an opportunity to take some respite time, do so......even if it's just for a few hours. When you have an opportunity to take a week, by all means, take it and have lots of fun.

Hugs, Dan
Wilson
Wilson
Go one your get away and don't feel guilty. A caregiver has a hard and stressful job and it you don't get a break every once in a while it will take a toll on your health. You will be in a better frame of mind if you get away, get your thoughts together and relax. You will be doing yourself and your grandmother a favor by going.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You are very lucky if she will agree to it. Enjoy every hard-earned minute!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I had to go through this a year and a half ago - my husband is disabled, and we have a young daughter (6 at the time). I had an opportunity to go to an artist's retreat for a weekend, first time I've left them alone together since she was born. I spent the first 36 hours expecting something to go wrong and that I'd have to rush home, and feeling guilty that he was having to struggle with her while I was having fun. As it turned out, they had a pretty good time together, and nothing horrible happened. When I went back to the same retreat this year, no guilt! I had an amazing time, and was a far better caregiver for the break from the daily grind :)