Caregivers Support Group

A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...

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melissa2487 02/12/2018

My mom, who I've been taking care of since I was out of high school (I'm 30 now), is unfortunately going to pass away soon. The problem is niether of my parents ever set up any burial plans, life insurance, absolutely nothing. And I certainly don't make enough to do much of anything other than pay for medical bills which is taking a toll. I don't want a funeral - we dont even have any family - I just want a basic burial and I don't want an unmarked grave. I don't know where to find out this information for the State of NJ. Does medicare do anything? Some places say they do, the rest say they dont. Did anyone have this place and where did you go?

Seamus 02/12/2018

I believe each state will pay for the bare minimal, cremation.

The state pays for cremation of poor people that have no family.

Contact a funeral director.

My heart goes out to you. I take care of my dad.

melissa2487 02/13/2018

I've messaged a bunch of funeral homes in the area for just basic prices -- direct cremation or direct burial with no services -- and its STILL too much money (over $2000). No place is offering to help, none of the local charities or health or human services, etc. What am I going to go? We don't have any family.

shadowlady 02/14/2018

I'm so very sorry Sweetie. I just lost my dad and faced this to some degree. I think Social Security pays a one time small death benefit. Some funeral homes, here anyway in NC, let you set up a payment plan. My mom's SS increased a little ( the difference between hers and my dad's). We sold things of my dads that were no longer needed to finish paying the bill. Good luck. Blessings.

Ghostwolf04 03/12/2018

Like others said, cremation is cheaper and state may pay for burial. As far as gravestones go, are there any Amish in your area? There is an Amish community near me that has cheap gravestones they sell. There is also a stone quarry that does cheap gravestones for people sometimes.
You may ask at your local bank, small-town banks are better, and see if they do any charities. I work in a bank and we help raise money for people in need all the time, particularly cancer patients and survivors. At the very least your bank could maybe give you a loan to pay final expenses. You can also try starting a GoFundMe page online.
The next most important thing to do is get your dad some life insurance. Liberty Mutual or Mutual of Omaha is where I would start. That's what my mom has.
Also do you have insurance for yourself? If not I would look into getting a different job. If you have caregiver experience, a nursing home is a great place to work. I had good life insurance and health insurance when I worked in a nursing home. Banks are a great place to work too.
Just make a to do list and tackle everything one small bite at a time. We are here for you, sorry about your mom.

Ghostwolf04 03/12/2018

Hey I thought of something else. Bikers are happy to ride for charity. Look up your local chapter or motorcycle club and call someone to ask if they could help you and your dad raise money for your mom's final expenses. They may even let you and Dad ride in a car and follow with them, it could be a memorial ride in honor of your mom. I know bikers seem a bit scary but they do like to help people. Check online or on the bulletin board at your local bar.

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