sorry to hear about your situation. I have no experience in this field but I'm sure other may have. I just wanted you to be acknowledged.
Arlene

He needs to get help from those who understand. Is he fearful of looking week? Perhaps you could chat with other military wives/girlfriends? Did you know him before he went to Iraq? Just wondered if he had issues before?
If he won't seek help, you need support for you. My daughter has PTSD and it can be very difficult for us.
Good luck. Keep dropping by xx

For your own "sanity" and "health" you have to decide that if he refuses to get help: Are you better off with him, or without him? Sometimes love gets in the way, and we keep trying and trying and trying to make things right, when all along it is not US who needs to keep trying, it is up to them to WANT to make things right. Not meaning to sound harsh, but you may have to bite the bullet and give him an ultimatem. Life is so short honey, and you have a right to be happy.

Welcome to Caregivers, PTLOVESD-
The best thing for you to do is to seek counseling for yourself. It will allow you to learn coping skills.
I agree with KiddoGal's advice- seek counseling & consider your path very carefully.
Hugs, MelodyJane

Oh- I suffer with PTSD, so I sorta get what is going on in his head...

Thank you all for your support. We have only been together for almost 9 months now. I did not know him before he went to Iraq, this is pretty much the only man that I know. From what he tells me, he has been like this for a very long time. Not only did he serve in the military, but he came from a home where his dad was a heavy drinker, beating on his mother every night while he would hide in the closet hoping his dad would not find him. So he has a lot of traumae that he has not dealt with. He is actually a counselor himself. He counsels veterans with PTSD. I think what makes it difficult for him to seek help is that he works for the VA so confidentiality is a huge issure for him as that is a small community. He is no longer in the military and I have yet to find other girlfriends/wives that are dealing with the same issues. In any case, I am now coming to the reality that I cannot help him and he has to take some initiative if things are ever going to get better. He has mentioned to me that he does not like being this way and does have a desire to change, but can't seem to bring himself to that next step to recovery. In any case I love him very much, this I have no doubt. We will continue to see how this plays out. Thank you all so much again for your kind words.

Here for you my friend ! Life doesn't have to be this difficult.

Big Hugs, Phoebe :-)

I was going to add to the above comments: If your boyfriend won't make the appointment himself, do so for him. However if he is hesitant because of his current job, that may not be an option. Somehow, he needs to figure out how to follow his own advice to the others he is giving advice to.

Walking away from someone you really love and care for is extremely difficult, but in doing so, it may really give him the strong signal he needs to do something about the PTSD now instead of putting it off.

I wish you the best.

Perhaps the possibility of losing you will be the motivation he needs to take that next step of recovery. I have PTSD from childhood on and there is help out there. Even though it is a small community, the fact is that it is not unusual at all for counselors to need counseling. He can also try going to the next town over. He is a vet. The VA is there to help vets, even if they are disconnected from the service.

It is important for YOUR health and sanity that he get health and that you do not remain in a relationship that is clearly affecting you in a negative way.

Just my thoughts.

Hugs.