Caregivers Support Group
A voluntary caregiver is a spouse, relative, friend or neighbor of a disabled person or child who assists with activities of daily living and assists those unable to fully take care of themselves. The challenges of a caregiver are unique and sometimes it's hard to find people to talk to who know what you're going through. Join the conversation and find others who...
i am ready to bang my head against the wall. pull my hair out and just scream. had to pick up more hours at work because my wife is completely not working now.so i am home even less but now when i am home the care i have to give has tripled because of my father in law.
my father in law is sick. he is in his 80's and has been told he has a weak heart and cant do anything anymore. so my wife being the oldest and the fact we damn near share a house has someone been assigned to help him.
the issue is she cant do shit like this because her pain load will hit the roof and then she is laid up. so i am taking care of her even more because she cant move and then someone still has to help my father in law.
i am working 14 hour days 5.5 days a week plus now caring for 2 people. i just dont know how much more i can take before i am the one who needs cared for.i dont have time to go out by myself anymore. i had a beautiful trip to market there a while back and now i just dotn have time.
as things stand right now my wife in in hospital because she was vommiting green slime. and my father in law we just took in as well because he is dizzy in any position so bad he is throwing up. so had 2.5 hours of sleep just finished some food and now back to hospital then to work for the 8th day in a row.
ok im done venting thanks to anyone who listens
my father in law is sick. he is in his 80's and has been told he has a weak heart and cant do anything anymore. so my wife being the oldest and the fact we damn near share a house has someone been assigned to help him.
the issue is she cant do shit like this because her pain load will hit the roof and then she is laid up. so i am taking care of her even more because she cant move and then someone still has to help my father in law.
i am working 14 hour days 5.5 days a week plus now caring for 2 people. i just dont know how much more i can take before i am the one who needs cared for.i dont have time to go out by myself anymore. i had a beautiful trip to market there a while back and now i just dotn have time.
as things stand right now my wife in in hospital because she was vommiting green slime. and my father in law we just took in as well because he is dizzy in any position so bad he is throwing up. so had 2.5 hours of sleep just finished some food and now back to hospital then to work for the 8th day in a row.
ok im done venting thanks to anyone who listens
Maybe social security has something also? I know how tough it is to have to scramble all the time between work and caring for someone. I won't be going to work today because my husband is not feeling well. He's on dialysis and has COPD/emphysema among his medical issues. Some days are not very easy!!! And someone work is your only outlet! hang in there, see if you can get some help and why can't your wife's sisters or brothers help out?
Wow you need to find some help for yourself as well.
I know how it feels to not have familysupport,but if your father inlaw has other children ,they really need to help.
Don't know where you live,but maybe what kiddo suggested might be of help.
I hope you get some help with this before you become ill as well
Blessings
Laura
i made my sister in law cry though. and i dont feel bad about it. does that make me mean?
i was arranging tansportation because my wife was coming home and my sister in law called me to ask how her dad was.
i went on to yell at her for half an hour telling her he was a weak old man and could die any day and she would feel guilty because she never spent any time with him and she would regret alot of choices she has made.and me, just the daughter in law, knows more about her father than she does.
i demanded she drop what she was doing and come spend the day with him since the hospital wont let him come home for a few more days.and when she was done that she could some spend time with her sister too.and i hung up the phone on her without saying bye.
but she did spend a couple of hours with her dad and did come to see her sister while i was at work.
dont know what will happen today but we will see.i shouldnt have to get so mad at people to do what they natually should be doing.like i told her he is only my father in law and i have taken on his care. makes me mad some days
The longer you go without demanding/asking for help, the easier it will be for the family to continue to ignore the situation.
Also, you teach people how to treat you by letting them stay in the background. As hard as it is, stick up for yourself, make noise & teach the family all over again how to treat you by NOT letting them get away with being "absent".
Only with Love, MelodyJane
I'm agreeing here with everyone, you did right telling your wife's family what needs to happen. My experience with family is they will stick their head in the sand and ignore problems as long as you let them ! Bravo for telling them what they need to hear !!!
I'm reminded of a quote I heard long ago, "No one can let us down quite like our own families . "
Big Hugs, Phoebe :-)
thye are realsing my father in law from hospital tomorrow with strict rules. so we shall see what happpens
You said that your love got voted to take care of her father because she was the oldest. My response to that is "so!!" Age should have nothing to do with it. Capability should!
My heart goes out to you in this. Personally, I think you need to let them all in her family know that YOU are the one doing the care...not her...and that you cannot do it on top of taking care of your love.
Sorry if I am butting in where I don't belong, but I really feel for your situation.