Career Changes Support Group

This community is dedicated to the difficult challenges of transitioning from one career or job to a new one. Especially as we grow older, it can be very difficult to acquire the skills and relationships and take the financial risk to make the switch.

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Advice Needed

DW28
DW28

Hello everyone,


I would greatly appreciate any advice that anyone may want to share. Here is my situation. 


I'm interested in applying for a job at the same place my wife works. She is against me applying. When asking why, she says she believes I would not enjoy the job. When asking for more details about why, she'll give petty reasons such as "alarms go off all day in the office you'll be working and it's very annoying" or "it doesn't pay that much and you are not allowed to move into another department for one year so you better make sure you like it." However, I also have a friend that works there and he does the same job that I am interested in and he seems to enjoy it. Based upon the job description, I think it's something I would enjoy doing and it would be nice already having a friend that is in the same office. It's full time, 12 hour shifts, so I'd only be working 3 or 4 days per week, which I think would work out very well for me. 


What should I do here? Should I trust my gut and apply? Or should I listen to my wife and not apply?


I just have a feeling the main reason my wife is against it is because I will have to start out on night shift. That means she'll be home alone at night and she is freightened by that. Anytime I'm out late she's calling me to see when I'll be home multiple times. I asked her if that is the reason for her being against me taking the job and she has promised that has nothing to do with it. I just don't know. 


We are very well off financially so me getting this job is not a MUST. I could not work at all and we would still be fine. It's just a career move I'm pondering on because I hate my current job.


What do you think??

middleoftheroad
middleoftheroad
Isn't my business, but you asked for advice and being you've no responses, will give solely my opinion.. Stick with what you know, it might be best for your marriage if you two were to work somewhere other than the same place where your spouse works. Reason being, there can be pressures from work brought home and/or pressures from home brought to the workplace making either a sofa sleeper for one, or another not coming home because of the undue stress on the marriage due to work. The lines are too blended in my personal opinion. That being said, let's pretend you two started a business together with a shared interest you both had, then, it is a completely different story. You set out together, you establish boundaries between your business and home life, best not to mix the two (my opinion).. Rather than just my opinion, maybe you saw this article or not, sure is an opinion piece as well but if were my decision and if my spouse suggested to work at the firm/co. I was employed at, I would not think it would be a good idea for the marriage. https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/270599
DW28
DW28
Thank you middle!!!
JRK
JRK
hi. ok so I am new to this support group. I have read your post and I have a couple of thoughts that immediately popped into my head. I don't know you or your wife so these are just ideas to maybe think about.
1. How do you feel your relationship is going with your wife at the moment?
2. Does your wife seem healthy and happy?
3. Does your wife seem to enjoy her work currently?
4. Do you remember times when you did follow your gut and things seemed to go badly?
5. Has your wife always felt a need to call you several times when you went out at night?
6. Why do you think your wife calls you lots of times when you are out late?
7. Do you think your wife will accept and cope with you working at the same place?
8. What other reasons do you think your wife may have around you not working at the same place?

If I was to think back to my experiences in married life and the actions I made I would say that for me, I struggled to face my own feelings and then was so scared to share them with my partner. Is there maybe a communication problem here between yourself and your wife?
4.