Bullying Support Group
Bullying is the act of intentionally causing harm to others, through verbal harassment, physical assault, or other more subtle methods of coercion such as manipulation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways, but one thing is clear: no one deserves to be bullied. If you or someone you know is coping with bullying, this is the place to share your feelings and get...
Last week, I discovered the neighborhood bully. When I first met her a few months ago, I thought she was okay but a bit strange. She would come call on my 8 year old to play and then ditch her shortly after my 8 year old came out.
I was sitting on my doorstep of my townhouse and there is a park there where the kids play. A much bigger and older girl was charging at, slapping, hitting and kicking a smaller girl. The smaller girl was trying to escape her but the bigger girl just kept at it. Somebody had to intervene and protect this smaller child.
I went down to the park and I had told the bigger girl to stop and to leave the smaller girl alone. The bully said that they started it. I told her that I didn't care and it doesn't matter. What she needs to do is ignore the other kids and walk away. All I did was talk to the child. I then asked which unit she was in. She said she's going home. I went home.
A few minutes later, the bully met up with her friend and then went to the friend's house. Both girl's told the mother there that the bully was struck by an adult at the park - in public this was going on so I could hear EVERYTHING, including the mother exploding over this.
My partner went to the bully's house and talked to the father, who just didn't seem to want to deal with anything and quickly closed the door. I did talk to the mother of the smaller girl and told her what happened and she thanked me.
For the bully's parents I had wrote EXACTLY what happened. I had also phoned child serviced to get their take on it and they have nothing to do with bully issues. The police were a bit comforting and took down the details. They said that I did the right thing but next time don't hesitate to call 911. (I thought REALLY? I can do that. Call the cops on the kids. Good!)
On Monday, I talked to the landlord who jotted down a few things and she sent the floor rep over and she said hi. The rep told me if any incidents happen to go talk to her and get some help.
My daughter is friends with the smaller girl and my 8 year old was there witnessing the incident. She can confirm that I only spoke to the girl and so can the smaller girl.
I had told my 8 year old that she is to stay away from this bully and she asked why. I told her that the bully told another adult that she was struck by me and my 8 year old said THAT"S VERY MEAN."
The next day, my 8 year old marched up to that girl and said "You lied, you hurt my family and you owe us an apology." I was not expecting that.
I have been on edge since Friday and I am doing some research and trying to find some supports/people who have also been falsely accused as I am beside myself.
I have yet to talk to a lawyer but there have been no charges laid. I am not feeling safe at all with this even though those around me think that things will be fine. This is a very serious allegation and I will treat it as such.
Right now I am basically doing my research and figuring out what I need to do. I am finding that I am needing more support with this. I am working on how to deal with this now gossip/rumor around the complex about now being labeled a child abuser.
Right now I am wishing that there was a restraining order I could get to keep this kid away. The bully is around 12 years old. She is a very angry child and it doesn't seem like her parents discipline her because she was still able to go out and play. Meanwhile her friend's mother supported her and consoled her and BELIEVED the lie.
I was sitting on my doorstep of my townhouse and there is a park there where the kids play. A much bigger and older girl was charging at, slapping, hitting and kicking a smaller girl. The smaller girl was trying to escape her but the bigger girl just kept at it. Somebody had to intervene and protect this smaller child.
I went down to the park and I had told the bigger girl to stop and to leave the smaller girl alone. The bully said that they started it. I told her that I didn't care and it doesn't matter. What she needs to do is ignore the other kids and walk away. All I did was talk to the child. I then asked which unit she was in. She said she's going home. I went home.
A few minutes later, the bully met up with her friend and then went to the friend's house. Both girl's told the mother there that the bully was struck by an adult at the park - in public this was going on so I could hear EVERYTHING, including the mother exploding over this.
My partner went to the bully's house and talked to the father, who just didn't seem to want to deal with anything and quickly closed the door. I did talk to the mother of the smaller girl and told her what happened and she thanked me.
For the bully's parents I had wrote EXACTLY what happened. I had also phoned child serviced to get their take on it and they have nothing to do with bully issues. The police were a bit comforting and took down the details. They said that I did the right thing but next time don't hesitate to call 911. (I thought REALLY? I can do that. Call the cops on the kids. Good!)
On Monday, I talked to the landlord who jotted down a few things and she sent the floor rep over and she said hi. The rep told me if any incidents happen to go talk to her and get some help.
My daughter is friends with the smaller girl and my 8 year old was there witnessing the incident. She can confirm that I only spoke to the girl and so can the smaller girl.
I had told my 8 year old that she is to stay away from this bully and she asked why. I told her that the bully told another adult that she was struck by me and my 8 year old said THAT"S VERY MEAN."
The next day, my 8 year old marched up to that girl and said "You lied, you hurt my family and you owe us an apology." I was not expecting that.
I have been on edge since Friday and I am doing some research and trying to find some supports/people who have also been falsely accused as I am beside myself.
I have yet to talk to a lawyer but there have been no charges laid. I am not feeling safe at all with this even though those around me think that things will be fine. This is a very serious allegation and I will treat it as such.
Right now I am basically doing my research and figuring out what I need to do. I am finding that I am needing more support with this. I am working on how to deal with this now gossip/rumor around the complex about now being labeled a child abuser.
Right now I am wishing that there was a restraining order I could get to keep this kid away. The bully is around 12 years old. She is a very angry child and it doesn't seem like her parents discipline her because she was still able to go out and play. Meanwhile her friend's mother supported her and consoled her and BELIEVED the lie.
It appears that sending your partner to talk to the child's father was a smart move too, due to the fact that a lot of bullies are more likely to try to gang up on one person than an entire group of highly visible family and/or friends around you.
I completely empathize with how nerve-wracking it is to have someone that disturbed worked up and angry at us,who we know is capable of lying to set us up and try to get us into serious trouble.
And people with the symptoms you have described, in my experience don't give up on getting revenge because you dared to cross them,either.
Have you considered putting technology to use? Does your phone have a recorder?(Maybe you should verify the laws in your state about videorecording another person before you do that.)
If you think they may come on to your property to harass you you might consider motion activated web cams, and could even tie those to YouTube if you wanted to.
Thanks to science at least when we deal with bullies we don't have to put up with nearly as much of our word against theirs as we did a few years ago.
This group has been extremely helpful to me. Stay with the group.We're here for you.Hope I've been some help.
I am still having a rough go with what happened bit the focus is on keeping busy and focusing my energies elsewhere.
My cell phone has both video and voice recording on it. However I am not sure about the privacy laws here.
I want to look into surveillance stuff.
It is sad to see that some of my neighbors appear to support bullies.
Thank you so much again!