Breastfeeding Support Group
While breastfeeding is recommended by many doctors, it is not as simple as it seems. This is a community dedicated to parents who are choosing to breastfeed, providing a safe place to discuss everything from pumping, to questions of whether baby is getting enough, weaning, breast care, scheduling, supply, and more.
So, my DD is only 15w and as cold as it's been we don't go out with her too much, so I haven't had too many public BFing experiences. For my own comfort level, I normally go to a fitting room or wait and do it in the car if we're out shopping or something.
So, this weekend we were invited over a friend's house for lunch as another friend was coming into town for the weekend. So, it was my husband, me, and our DD. The friend whose house it is has twin girls born prematurely at 31w and so there almost 5 months (but are smaller than my DD) and her DH. Then the friend who came into town with her 5 year old and 2 year old boys.
So we ate lunch at their kitchen table and then after lunch my friend's DH and the 2 boys (and the twin girls) were all in a den connected to the area where we were eating watching tv. My 2 girlfriends and I were chatting (my DH was lingerining in between the 2 areas). My DD needed to eat. I made a comment about her being hungry and I walked to their living room area where I left her diaper bag. The living room area is also connected to the eating area just on the opposite side as the den (it's a pretty open floor plan). I sat in a chair that was off to the side (but I could still see everyone). I have a bfing shaw...I covered up and began feeding her. Then everyone migrated into the den area. My DH stood sort of in the middle and kept looking back at me apologeticly (like, sorry they all left you...). I could hear everything and see a lot. But I really expected my 2 girlfriends to come sit with me and chat still. We could only visit for 2 hours....and my DD can eat for 20+ minutes easily. I ended up taking her off before she was done (but I knew she was just doing her half asleep/half eat thing) because I wanted to visit with my friends who I don't get to see very often.
Neither of those friends bf. Both tried and both say their milk didn't come in. The one with twins, I know she tried. She was in the hospital for like 6 weeks because she went into labor early and then her girls were born early and they were in the NICU for another 10. She pumped every 2 hours for days and worked with an LC and it just wasn't coming in for her.
I was sort of offended. I didn't want to yell across the house--"hey come sit with me". I hate feeling ostrocized for Bfing sometimes.
thoughts? guess I just needed to vent a little.
So, this weekend we were invited over a friend's house for lunch as another friend was coming into town for the weekend. So, it was my husband, me, and our DD. The friend whose house it is has twin girls born prematurely at 31w and so there almost 5 months (but are smaller than my DD) and her DH. Then the friend who came into town with her 5 year old and 2 year old boys.
So we ate lunch at their kitchen table and then after lunch my friend's DH and the 2 boys (and the twin girls) were all in a den connected to the area where we were eating watching tv. My 2 girlfriends and I were chatting (my DH was lingerining in between the 2 areas). My DD needed to eat. I made a comment about her being hungry and I walked to their living room area where I left her diaper bag. The living room area is also connected to the eating area just on the opposite side as the den (it's a pretty open floor plan). I sat in a chair that was off to the side (but I could still see everyone). I have a bfing shaw...I covered up and began feeding her. Then everyone migrated into the den area. My DH stood sort of in the middle and kept looking back at me apologeticly (like, sorry they all left you...). I could hear everything and see a lot. But I really expected my 2 girlfriends to come sit with me and chat still. We could only visit for 2 hours....and my DD can eat for 20+ minutes easily. I ended up taking her off before she was done (but I knew she was just doing her half asleep/half eat thing) because I wanted to visit with my friends who I don't get to see very often.
Neither of those friends bf. Both tried and both say their milk didn't come in. The one with twins, I know she tried. She was in the hospital for like 6 weeks because she went into labor early and then her girls were born early and they were in the NICU for another 10. She pumped every 2 hours for days and worked with an LC and it just wasn't coming in for her.
I was sort of offended. I didn't want to yell across the house--"hey come sit with me". I hate feeling ostrocized for Bfing sometimes.
thoughts? guess I just needed to vent a little.
The friend with the 2 older boys, came into town when her youngest was just a couple of weeks old. I went over to her parent's house to see here and he totally "tried" to bf right in front of me...not covered up or anything. I say "tried" because she wasn't having much luck and kept taking him off and waking him up and putting him back on. Then she just gave him a bottle.
These ladies have been my friends since 3rd grade. No, I didn't want to bf right in the den (which is on the small side) with another man in the room and rowdy kids. DD doesn't like to be covered so I have the shaw loosely on.
I just wish it was more accepted and I wouldn't feel like I always needed to go and hide to feed my DD.
Next time tell them to come in! You've been friends long enough that they probably would if you let them know it is okay.
If it comes up again, maybe just say, "Hey I need to feed my daughter, if anyone wants to join me they are welcome to come chat" and then just leave it up to them.
Maybe your friends felt that way too since you left the room you were in with them.
If it were me I would casually bring it up by just asking "hey, did you leave and go into the other room because I was nursing?" and get it all cleared up.
I have a friend I have known for 25yrs who has been hurting my feelings by not making an effort to get together, she didn't meet my son until January when he was 9 months old. I know how these things hurt. I think it is better to get it out in the open and get over it.