So it is Valentine’s Day, the holiday for happy couples.  We have been bombarded with images of happy couples exchanging gifts of jewelry, chocolate and stuffed animals while sharing an intimate dinner.  

Screeeeeeeech!!  Put the brakes on, fast and hard!

We may be sitting here, feeling very sad on this day, thinking about how hard the separation/divorce is.   We are reminiscing about how we used to cuddle at night, how we’d have conversations about work, how we would enjoy a meal together, how we would go for walks or weekend getaways with our ex’s.

This is where the paradigm shift in your thinking must take place.   You do NOT miss your ex!  You miss the companionship and your rituals.  There is a huge difference.  Think about it…how can you miss someone that lied to you, betrayed you with an affair, physically abused you, emotionally abused you, totally disrespected you?    

We can’t miss people like that because our ex’s have displayed character traits that are despicable and unbecoming.  What you do miss is the companionship and rituals that you used to share.   NEWS FLASH!!!  Someday in the future, you will find companionship again, you will establish new cute, adoring rituals that will make the memory of your ex take a far back seat in the recess of your brain.  

Every time you think you miss your ex, remind yourself that it is NOT the person you miss, but rather the rituals and companionship.  And yes, you will find love (or love will find you) again!