Don't kick yourself in the a** for missing things the way they used to be! Even though I'm nearly 5 months out from my breakup, tonight, like you, has been a little hard to deal with, so take comfort that your not the only one, I'm in the boat with you!

You spoke of what you used to do, me, I spent the whole Christmas Eve day alone. When last year there would have been wrapping gifts together, watching Rodolph The Red Nosed Reindeer, listing to Holiday music, planning out the Christmas dinner, Skype calling everyone together and as fiance's give our collective Holiday well wishes to everyone! And like last year we ended our Christmas Eve day by making passionate love before falling asleep in each others arms, tonight, I'm going to bed alone!

And as far as being concerned about writing similar posts, don;t worry about it, keep em coming! Keep writing, even if you feel it's the same old thing over and over and over again! Keep writing, keep getting it out, for eventually the more you keep letting it out and keep expressing yourself, regardless of duplication, the better your going to feel.

And I wouldn't be so concerned about the way you "act", no way! I didn't at first, when the breakup first happened, to now, I'm not really concerned about the way I act. Yeah, I'm not the same person or act the same like back in the days when I was in love and life was grand. We've been through something pretty serious, pretty stressful and pretty hard to deal with, of course we're not going to act the same as we did back when we were with out former partners. I pretty much warned the people most important to me to not expect to see the old Aaron anytime soon, he's gone away for a while, and heck he may never return the same person or act the same, ever, who knows.

And as far as the fact that you think your former love will never miss you, guess again! Regardless if you were the one who dumped or you were the one who got dumped, regardless of the position, everyone in both roles misses the other, it just differs to various degrees according to the role! So unless your former love was diagnosed wit being a full blown sociopath or narcissist or something to those regards, than yeah, I'm sure once in a while you cross the other persons mind.

And as you already touched on, as you said "maybe it just takes time"! Exactly, it will take time! Even being 5 moths out, yes, I feel better, she isn't monopolizing my thoughts anymore, she isn't renting as much real estate in my head, but sometimes she's there, be it a memory or night time dream! But yeah, in time you'll begin to feel better and by feeling better it will help you move on!

Hope anything I said here helped!

Its not easy to be friends with someone after you have been more then friends with them for any amount of time. The way they act towards you, talk to you, or even the things they talk with you about after a break up will surely be in a different manner. Now, I dont know what was said and how it was said, but short of things being said in a nasty nature, its hard to get used to how someone used to treat us or how they talked to us, to how they interact with us now. We should probably expect less communication instead of "how it was" before and when communicating, I would imagine it may be a little awkward for both, so the way conversations go, will most suredly be different in nature until the initial uncomfortableness subsides

That doesn't forgo any rudeness in behavior, just that we have to tailor our expectations when in a situation like this.

Again, I don't know the nature of what happened, but he may feel like the blame for this incident lies mostly on your side because you initiated or escalated the issue. Doesn't mean he is right or wrong in thinking that, but it also doesn't mean he is thinking that way about your overall situation. His self-righteousness is most likely just related to this one incident. I know I have been guilty of being in a situation where I felt what was put upon me was wrong and I wasn't the one causing the "ONE" situation. I wasn't absolving myself from the issues overall in general, just that one issue that I didn't believe I brought on. if that makes sense.

Being able to be "friends" after an intimate relationship ends takes a lot from both, in order to maintain it. Maybe you or both just aren't at that point yet. the interactions and ending of the relationship between you two can still be amicable and pleasant, but coupling that with trying to start a friendship, may just be a little too much to pile on top at this time.

I should clarify, we meant to be friendly rather than friends. His reasoning is that we're both not getting involved with other people for a while and it made him sad to think of never speaking with me again. I thought that made sense. Unfortunately on my end, my friends don't talk to me and I'm alone a majority of the time so I talked to him too much...got confused by his change in attitude...kept asking questions to be reassured that he still meant all the nice things but he told me "idk" to every question and it escalated from there. I'd get upset that he could have a change of heart so quickly after pressing me to be friends when I suggested I wasn't ready. It turned into a cycle of getting upset that he suddenly didn't care anymore then apologizing and getting upset again because I felt like I couldn't undo that damage I already did. I kept trying to redeem myself. I see his side of it but he knows just reassuring me that he still felt the way he did the week before when he was kind would have made me feel better but he would not even do that. I take responsibility for my expectations but I also believe his attitude towards me escalated the issue.

Anyway, I feel horrible about myself. He doesn't miss me because I've been too available & pathetic. I know everyone's going to say it doesn't matter if he misses me, focus on myself but it's very frustrating to have wasted so much time being a good gf and it didn't even matter. It makes me feel completely worthless.

Please remember that "feelings" can be deceptive. You are not worthless. You can not blame yourself for the way others treat you. Their behavior comes from within them. Breakups are never easy and remaining friends after a breakup is very difficult. Some can adjust to this type relationship, others can't.

Just remember, he does not make you who you are inside. True feelings come from within the heart of a person. Anyone can play a certain role on this stage we call life but, this makes them just mere actors. It's what that is inside the heart of a person that truly makes the person. Loving someone is not a crime. When a separation happens, people react different ways. Realize that you are somebody, that you have great qualities about you and that you are valuable and are worth being loved and cared for. Consider yourself, his loss and stay focused on the things you want in life. Do not let yourself get depressed and have feelings of weakness or of failure. As the old saying is "this too shall pass" and you can move on to happiness and the joy of the future.

I feel you girl! I feel you. I am heartbroken and extremely sad -- trying to cope with all the losses by promising myself that I will bounce back from this. It is hard -- to ride this out but I know it is not impossible. Sometimes, there are wounds that are so deep that it's difficult to see through. But we're survivors, we're gonna live through this and be alright :)

Don't beat yourself up at all about that. Your reactions to him are totally normal and do not change the overall situation anyway. You are broken up and still broken up. You're no longer a couple so don't worry about his feelings and what not. Worry about you and your healing that's what's important now. Let me tell ya friendship after a breakup is not a good idea. There's too many emotions. To truly heal you need to stop communicating with him at all levels. Only then can you move on otherwise your gonna be perpetually stuck. I learned the hard way.
Merry Christmas to you, you can do this!

Thanks Kbb, sometimes all I need is someone to verify that my reactions were totally normal. Doesn't change the overall situation but it fed his ego to the point where he thinks it's my loss. But I've realized that when I am feeling stable (when I'm around family) I think "was I drunk? Why did I act that way?! That was NOT me." But then when I'm alone and depressed, I realize that at the time my reaction was totally reasonable for how I was feeling. And I shouldn't blame myself for how he treated me. I wouldn't have treated him badly if he did exactly what I did.

Doesn't change the overall situation but it fed his ego to the point where he thinks it's my loss

I know what you're saying 100%. But the trick now is to not be concerned what or why he is thinking what he's thinking. It doesn't matter. What matters now is how you move forward. I have made the same drastic mistakes, even recently, and we split 10 months ago. So that stuff is gonna happen. Just have to chalk that up to being a human being with natural emotions. It's totally normal. Just move forward and work on your happiness and contentment, there's going to be ups and downs but eventually the ups will overtake the downs take care :)