Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

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ll47ll 08/31/2008

My mom just told me tonight that my X asked her if he could drop off the kids at her house on Sundays now. Currently he picks them up at her house on Fridays right after school and was the one who insisted on bringing them back Sundays to my house although he lives an hour away. Mom told him there was no guarantee they would be home every Sunday. He then taddle tells on me, that I'm drinking. Wow. I didn't know I have 20 years old for the last decade. Although my family is devout, they know I'm an adult and I have never done anything dangerous to myself or my kids. He told her he didn't want to talk to me. Funny, IF he ever calls the kids, I let my oldest pick up and avoid talking to him. He also pours out his heart to Mom that I was filing for child support because he is 5 months behind. Mom showed no sympathy and even told him if he wanted to drop off the kids at her house, he will have to put in writing that he will not sue them if anything happened to the children while there. Was Mom great or what?

Even his only relative who has any sense called me last week and supported me in filing for child support (while inviting me over for his wife's bday). Mom & Dad both told me tonight to file for child support which I told them I just did. And I was feeling really guilty about it too so I'm glad to hear support from my loved ones.

So what is this supposed to mean coming my X?

CanadianRose 08/31/2008

Sounds like a move towards a powerplay by your STBEX.
He is launching a campaign about you being unstable...about him being afraid to have contact with you. Apparently you are now a drunk and hostile to deal with.

My Ex did the same thing...lol... he went to the preliminary hearing and wanted to have me go thru a pychiatric evaluation. Told everyone I was a drunk, unfit mother..etc...

Mom did great.

I think HE should dropped the kids off at your place...and if he has a problem with you...let him address his concerns to his lawyer. Do not get into a pissing match with this man...talk thru the lawyers. Do not allow him to anger you or to misquote you in court at a later date.

deleted_user 08/31/2008

And he's mad about you actually holding him responsible for child support. God forbid you expect him to be a responsible parent. He's retaliating. I would laugh it off this time. He's just making himself look stupid.

deleted_user 08/31/2008

I actually laughed when I read this..no offense. He hasn't supported his children for five months and now you are a drunk!

I remember this, from grade school "Johnny pulled my pony tail"...and Johnny says "she has Cooties!".

He's being a jerk.

ChiTownBear 08/31/2008

When my ex found out her folks/relatives were still in contact with me, she went as far as start up some real nasty lies about me. I believe she mainly did that so that they would stop communication with me cus if I was to ever say anything about what really happened, they would know what a lying cheatin' ho she really was.

But I think in your situation it is definitey different, it means he is avoiding you... bottom line. He is just making shit up to your mom because he has no reason to not bring the kids back to your place. So he tried the weak ass lame excuse. But basically he is trying to avoid seeing you.

that is just my take on it.

ll47ll 08/31/2008

Thank you. He is avoiding me, which is fine with me. But it's no excuse not to pay child support especially since he normally mails it.

Mom made me cry with tears of joy. At first she didn't want me to get divorced and gave me such a hard time and told me to tolerate him. And he knew it too, I guess he thought she would still encourage me to try to work things out with him and be the bigger person, but Mom is now reminding him who her child is and it is not him and that this mother hen will protect her little chickee.

Lee

deleted_user 09/01/2008

Be firm with him. He is still controlling your life. Ask him to bring the kids to your house (being home at a certain time every Sunday is too much to ask of mom). It's great that you filed for child support. My ex was always late with his payment and I had enough of it so I filed for payment protection and now if he is late or doesn't pay, they can even garnish his salary or take his car. He hates me for that but I had no choice and it is me who takes care of our child so I have to be sure the money is coming. Once again - be strong and firm with him and don't let him control your life ! Good luck !

ll47ll 09/01/2008

Thanks Lisa. Today when I picked up the kids from his mom's, his brother was there, and his mom brought to my attention an envelope my X had for me, no doubt child support, but I did not open it there. I just stuffed it in the kids' bag and left. It was of course child support, but he wrote on the check "August child support." He still owes for March-July too. What does this mean? Is he trying to say he is going to skip March-July period, I will not get it at all and if I cash this check, it will be a silent acknowledgement that it is ok with me?

Lee

deleted_user 09/01/2008

Your only concern should be your kids. Make sure they get the child support. Put some away for them too, if you can. College isn't cheap!

Good luck. I am so lucky I did not have children with my ex.

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