unexplained physical pain, likely from mental disorders. what do i win?

Hi IL: there is a Fibro board here on D.S. At the bottom of the TOPICS, is an explanation, or you can ask more questions in the topics. here is the link.

http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Fibromyalgia/support-group

Depending on how long she has had it, she may not know how to explain it. Do some research. I was diagnosed in September & still have a hard time explaining it. each person that has it is likely to have different symptoms& severity of symptoms. There is no cure, just learning how to manage the flare ups. I know for me I could really use a friend most days but none of my friends seem to care or understand any more.

BTW it is NOT caused by MENTAL Disorders!

its spelled fibromyalgia, if you want to look it up, do some research and support your friend.

I have fibromyalgia. It sucks, really. There isn't a lot of support for it out there because it seems to worsen with stress and we all have different kinds of symptoms, so people tend to think we're faking or just being babies or whatever but it really affects your ability to live your life the way you want. My symptoms have included but aren't limited to: extreme fatigue, trouble sleeping, migraines, jaw pain, random body pain that can either be like being knifed or a dull ache like you got beat with a base ball bat, confusion, inability to focus or concentrate, intestinal issues, shoulder and arm pain, frozen shoulder, skin issues, it goes on... If I am very active one day, the next day I'm exhausted like I ran a marathon. Research has not really proven why this happens and it shares a lot of symptoms with depression, so it gets no respect! But it's real and you need to support your friend.

Christine Miserandino wrote a paper explaining what life is like with chronic illness.

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christine/the-spoon-theory/

And if you're up to listening to a medical lecture about Fibromyalgia here's a good one.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aprthkmlE2Q

It's a hard illness to live with.

I guess I don't understand bc she can't seem to explain and evades questions. Worse, her episdoes occur in coincident with other events. She has filed for disability 2 years ago, she hasn't worked since then positive that she is going to get it. Something just sounds suspiciously wrong and I am afraid she will end up homeless.

Hi Il: One thing you have to remember is that it's none of your business. That's what hard to get across to other people and they don't have to prove it to you at all. That is what really makes people with Fibro, lupus, migraines, chronic fatigue, arthritis, and the other invisible ailments so mad. It's that uninformed people don't understand so they start to doubt you are ill.

There are illnesses that are visable and others that are invisible and Fibro, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, migraines, lymphoma and many others are invisible.

When I had malar lupus with the butterfly shaped rash on my face, it was quite visible and it could be seen by everybody and doctors. But systemic lupus that attacks the internal organs is invisible and the pain is real but again invisible to the public eye.

No one can understand the intense and incredible pain I get from chronic, severe migraines that I have had since 1990. I'm under the care of a special neurologist, but I hear ignorant people say "oh, I get headaches too." No, headaches ARE NOT MIGRAINES. Headaches are from a flower filled mountainside; migraines are from hell.

It is painful that you wrote your friend "claims" to have this disease. That means you doubt her. Butt out and stop asking her about this and give her peace about it. She's not answering your questions because you're bothering her about it and you don't need to know. Her and her doctor need to know all about it.

You apparently didn't read anything anyone put on this link. So please don't bring this up again with the woman. Fibro is very real.

Just wanted to say, I get migraines as well AsTimeGoesBy and you explained how they feel very well and also how no one can truly understand another person's pain. To the original poster, if you truly do not care about your friend's pain or believe she is in pain, or want to help her, leave her be in peace and then at least you are not hurting her further, just my opinon.

maybe fibro is not really the problem that you have with her. maybe she is just a really negative person and that is pulling you down because you are too close to her.

What "other events" do the flares occur with?

Because it's NOT a coincidence if they occur with stressful periods in her life.

Just like it's NOT a coincidence when blood sugars run higher in diabetics (and non-diabetics) with stress.

It's just all part of the condition.

And if she's newly diagnosed, it's understandable that she has a hard time explaining it, and may also have a hard time understanding it herself.

It is on here bc this started right after her divorce, another coincidence. She has not been able to cope with it.

I've considered that stress contributes to her episodes. But each time she meets someone new in her life, their first date ends with a 911 call where the EMS take her to the ER and the guy proves to be a knight in shining armor for sticking around to learn about fibromyalgia. I don't understand how that is stressful or contributes, but it happened with all 3 guys she's dated. And how does it never happen while she is driving 1-4 hours away to a doctor's appt, sometimes overnight? Or when she is vacationing?

I think Fibromyalgia is a real disease, but even my doctor informed me that a lot of people are misdiagnosed with it.

Time, you are under the care of a specialist who understands your problem. I don't understand how my friend has gone to half a dozen doctors and none of them can help her keep it under control. Every day she is calling me asking me for help with things, right now it is finding a new home, she is unable to pay her rent for months now, relying on the promise of her doctor that she should get disability, that has been 2 years or more. I'm not butting in and wish I could help her more, but I don't even know how to help her. Help her find a job? She can't work bc of this disease. Help her find a home? she can't pay rent here or there.

Hi: My suggestion is for you is to call the main number of your city/town and speak with the social worker and have the social worker make a home call on your friendparticularly since she will lose the place where she lives. Explain that your friend is trying to get SSD also and has Fibromyalgia but could use help with the SSD. Explain that your friend wants you to get her a job, but she has been taken by ambulance to the E.R. at least 3 times and that probably speaks to her inability to work.

Tell the social worker that your friend is calling you and asking you to do so much and youre overwhelmed and you cant do all this for her. She needs help or she will be homeless. Explain youre concerned about her welfare (that is the magic word that should get them to do a home welfare check on her to see how she is doing, what she needs, what services, etc.).

All of this is very overwhelming on you, but it would be overwhelming on anyone as she is disintegrating under medical issues.

A formal medical diagnosis for Fibro didnt exist until about 1990, so for many years there were disbelievers. The problem is that not all doctors specialize in it or have training in it to be able to treat it; those that dont specialize may be old school and still believe it doesnt exist and just brush off your friend. Those doctors should not practice medicine. The online Fibro support boards frequently pass along the names of good treating doctors and they are usually filled up with patients.

It definitely exists and can strike causing extreme widespread pain. It also causes extreme fatigue, tender points and brain fog. Flares occur.

Stress and anxiety can play a big role in those flares and it would explain why she gets so bad on datesbecause dates are stressful and anxiety producing. For some they can do a lot of walking one day and for a week afterwards be in such pain from a flare that they are bedridden. It is a cruel ailment.

There is no cure, and there is no consistency as to what treatment will work. Again, some are more severe than others and some treatments work for some and not for others.

My rheumatologist was a very old idiot. I had over 6 months of once a month blood work from another doctor that consistently showed I had systemic lupus. The rheumatologist ran lab work again and had me come back and told me I never had lupus, I dont have it now and will never have it and come back in 3 months for a visit with his nurse. I told him that there was no need to come back with that diagnosis and I walked out. I got the records months later and he sent in a report stating he told me that he couldnt determine positively yes or no if I had lupus and to meet with him in 3 months. (The idiot had in front of him 6 months of lab results from the other doctor that said YES I had lupus). Big difference in what he actually told me and what he wrote in the records. 3 years later, the HMO I am with closed down his department completely and they no longer have a rheumatologist any more.

Good luck.