Breakups & Divorce Support Group

Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.

13,009 Members

100,360 Posts

0 Online

cmshinn 08/13/2012

I had the opportunity to speak w my stepson today. He confirmed everything I knew and then some. My husband actually had sex w his ex wife while married to me and accusing me of having sex w my other stepson. Really? He had sex w many many women in our area. While I sat home time after time crying over him. How stupid can I be? My stepson gave me names and timeframes. Women who I thought were my friends. How do I walk out the door w my head in the air. I am so ashamed that this was all going on and I turned a blind eye to it all. No wonder his new gf won't let him walk out the door alone. She thinks she has the catch of the century. And gloats about it every day. Lets see just how long they are faithful to each other. She went in front of the judge today for her divorce. The other attorney put my husband on the stand. He purgered himself. I'm hoping to add a few surprises when my day comes. Like half of the women here in our county. Show his whore exactly who he is. Then again she deserves all the pain and suffering I felt. Maybe I should let her learn all on her own. I really can't wait for my divorce to be over. I think I am finally ready to move the hell on.

deleted_user 08/14/2012

Why are you the stupid one when he was the one cheating on you?
I think you should walk out the door with your head held high - you wont ever have to worry about that BS again - he is someone elses problem now.

xoxo

hurtinandhealin2560 08/14/2012

Cmshinn,

From reading your posts, I worry that you are spending a lot of time focused on your stbx instead of focusing on yourself and your healing. Don't worry about what he's doing or with whom he's doing it. Focus instead on making your life the best it can be.

I know you are hurting but you must try to push forward and move on. You have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. The guilt and shame belong to your stbx, who has behaved like a dog.

The more you focus on your life and making it good, the more peace you will find. Iloverefus is right--he is no longer your problem; he is someone else's problem and who cares what they are doing or what they think.

Sending loads of hugs!

radrm 08/14/2012

Just be glad she is the one who will deal with his cheating and lying ways from now on. He is a whore too!! He made those choices and his ways will just hurt anyone he is ever with and Iloverufu is right to say you wont have to worry about that stuff again because he will be doing it to the one who is really stupid (the new whore)!!! Hold your head up and stay strong, yes we all get played for a fool at one time or another just learn the lesson and move on to better things for yourself! I hope you have a better day today!

deleted_user 08/14/2012

Cmshinn, you are really giving this alot of your energy. I can still sense your need for retribution/revenge. Please be careful. That revenge thing is like a roach motel, "roaches check in, but they don't check out." You will find yourself 'stuck' with a PLETHORA of hurtful, painful and negative emotions if you remain stuck in the retribution cycle. Please, please, please, I beg you to just LET IT GO.

deleted_user 08/14/2012

What they said, and your focus on revenge, justification, vindication, even if you get all that, you won't feel settled. Tune it in to you, and things you can do for yourself, and let Karma handle the rest. ;)

deleted_user 08/14/2012

I think you are the only one who can walk around with her head held high! You are not the betrayer, you are not the back stabbing friend sleeping with a married man. The rest of them are the ones who should hang their heads in shame. As for this current woman in his life- she knows exactly who he is and she's going to lose a lot of sleep over it- will she ever have peace of mind? ever be certain that he isn't cheating? not very likely. I can never figure out how women think a guy who sleeps around is a great catch! they'll be lucky if they don't catch an STD.

deleted_user 08/14/2012

Girl..YOU WALK WITH YOUR HEAD UP HIGH!!You stand tall like a tree!He is the one who should be hiding not you!! You do not, let him have the priviledge to see you destroy, whenever you ran into him you put your best clothes on! fix yourself and look the best you possibly can! shine like the sun and look radiant! its his loss! You dont have to feel confident to be confident! It means that even on the inside your sad, you feel insecure, on the outside you can be The confident woman. The woman who is like a deep rooted tree, even though the storm might try to destroy it, she prevails! she stands tall! You have absolutly no reason to feel shame! He is the one who is shameless! He is worthless and whatever is worthless needs to be to be thrown away to the trash! and thats where this guy is going! straight to the trash! Have the other woman have him, he will do the same thing to her, because men like that do not change..Pay no attention to that! You are worth sooo soo much! God loves you and He is the only thing you need! Read your bible! God bless you always and be strong!

luvmygirl4 08/14/2012

Hold your head high. You did nothing wrong. He's the scum who should be embarassed by his repeated poor decisions. And if his new gf doesn't wise up she is going to be next.

cmshinn 08/14/2012

Thank you for all your comments. I agree that I spend too much time and effort researching what happened in the past. It's only because for 15 years he told me that I was crazy and didn't know what I was talking about. A part of me needs to prove to not only myself but him as well that I know every little deceitful thing that he did and with whom. I honestly do not see an end to this until the day I receive my divorce. Thats when I will finally be able to move on. I am consumed with bitter feelings. After this new bit of info I actually feel sick to my stomach thinking about how I cried over him. I will be fine in time. I know I will.

Join the Conversation