Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Wife went ballistic. I asked her once if she was going to be working out while on vacation. Here are the basic rules for the uninformed.
1. Criticism Women are allowed to suggest/criticize their husbands about how much they earn, where the couple lives, how he dresses, and a host of other things. Her comments are perceived a pleasant and well-intentioned help.
2. Once married, women frequently gain weight. The rules are clear. She will go through the facade of a diet, periodically eating a salad with cheese, meat, heavy dressing etc. She can say diets do not work and her girlfriends will agree.
3. Once she gains the weight, she will decide a solution is to reduce sex, not let her husband see her naked. Interestingly she will not criticize him less but may decide that remaking him is a better task than changing herself.
4. While diets do not work for wives, they do for the newly divorced. Knowing men like a trim woman, she will drop 30-40 pounds in a serious routine. Now that she feels better about herself, she will feel comfortable doing things on a fourth date she doesn't do with the husband of 15 years.
1. Criticism Women are allowed to suggest/criticize their husbands about how much they earn, where the couple lives, how he dresses, and a host of other things. Her comments are perceived a pleasant and well-intentioned help.
2. Once married, women frequently gain weight. The rules are clear. She will go through the facade of a diet, periodically eating a salad with cheese, meat, heavy dressing etc. She can say diets do not work and her girlfriends will agree.
3. Once she gains the weight, she will decide a solution is to reduce sex, not let her husband see her naked. Interestingly she will not criticize him less but may decide that remaking him is a better task than changing herself.
4. While diets do not work for wives, they do for the newly divorced. Knowing men like a trim woman, she will drop 30-40 pounds in a serious routine. Now that she feels better about herself, she will feel comfortable doing things on a fourth date she doesn't do with the husband of 15 years.
HUGS
My ex made all kinds of deragotory sexual comments, and then wondered why my interest died with him. I thought it might have died forever, and happily discovered that it didn't. But I have still yet to do anything with some date that I haven't done with him. In fact, I haven't been on a date. So I'm flying solo for now.
As for losing weight, after the divorce, I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep either for that matter. And I did lose alot of weight. But then, so did he. In fact he lost a lot more than me.....of course he had a lot more weight than I did to lose.
Oh and I gained my weight from getting pregnant and having kids. He gained his from going to the bar.
BUT, I experienced some of this in my marriage. The 'extra' weight (I put extra in quotes because I never thought she had any extra weight) caused her to be very self conscious... and it sucked, because I liked the way she looked.
I recently read an article about sizes and weights. It determined that
1) the UK is actually fatter than the US (that surprised me)
2) Men the world over typically like a woman to be 2-4 sizes LARGER than women THINK they are attractive at.
I can only recall a single man or two that actually liked waify women, and I thought they were mentally um... impaired.
If the waify women get more 'play' it may be because they THINK they are more attractive, and therefor more confident.
Aronia wrote.
Good luck
My 'rule of thumb' is that only your doctor can tell you are fat, not your spouse, not your mirror. I REALLY stress that to my daughters, but that is my attempt to counter their mothers bulimic influences.
so, my guess is this is what you saw as the process the woman you married went through?
just never heard that before.
So lesson I've learned here: stay away from shallow bitches.
:)
Hey, Cudaman...where are you from? LOL....