Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
Nights are the worst for me. Most of the time I'm okay. Tonight though I'm not. Usually I don't feel this way because I have the kids but tonight the loneliness is pulling me into the dark.
I don't miss my husband. Which I'm sure that is the exact opposite of what most people on here are feeling. My husband hardly showed me affection unless he wanted something from me (if you catch what I'm saying). The " I love you" were far and few in between. He didn't not want to cuddle kiss or anything unless he wanted. I'm a person who needs that. when we were dating it was like that so I know how it was. Over the years it just got worse.
I would talk to him about it. But nothing changed. I would look at other couples and get pissed because they had what I wanted. I want to feel loved, desired, to feel cherished. Im starting to come to that realisation that I will never feel those things. I don't think I will ever try to get those things either. I'm scared from what he has told me want will happen if I ever find someone else.
Tonight I am lonely. Tonight I just want companionship. Someone just to sit with me to have an adult conversation. Tonight I just want to feel someone who cares for me.
Like I said before I'm mostly upset because I know I won't feel those things. So I will set here and let the darkness take me one more night and hope tomorrow is better.
I feel your pain. Six months ago before I left my husband that was exactly the way it was for me. I tried to endure it as usual. We did go to counseling a few times and nothing worked. Then I started to go to counseling on my own. I really didn't want to have another failed relationship. But sometimes, that's how it goes, even when you have put your best foot forward.
Right now I am started to feel better. I take care of 2 of my grandkids so that has helped but at times I just want peace and quietness. I feel like I never in my life want to give myself to another person. Every time I've opened my heart up, in the beginning they lure you in making you feel like they are good people, and they're really going to be there for you. Then they just change on you.
For a year he wouldn't touch me, kiss me or anything else. That was a real blow to my self esteem.
It's all good though, now I love myself no matter what.
You sound like a strong woman and even though you may be very hurt there is something good that will come out of this. Don't let anyone keep you from living your life full and abundant in every area. Love yourself. Treat yourself to something wonderful. You deserve it.
I know exactly what you mean by adult conversation. Nights are always the toughest. We sit here at night alone with our thoughts. Makes sleeping hard too. I don't get much sleep. I know its not the same but we are here. Good place to just vent. Take care of yourself and stay strong. We are broken but we are repairable. Someday we will all be healed and happy. We all deserve that much.
-HUGS-
It has just never happened, and I know that it never will happen.
This isn't to say that I'm not loved, because I am. I'm just not desired. Not good looking in the face or body, not good looking in the wallet, and on down the line. I'm rather average. Such is life.
But I think that accepting things as they are goes a long way, as does giving upon what I'd like the world to be, or how things "should" be.
That made me smile.
It takes time. He's still in the house, never wants to leave, it's dragging on and on. The loneliness for me was most intense the first year when I realized that to him, I wasn't worth any effort. Not even an afterthought. Not even worth remembering about the marriage counseling session (which I repeatedly reminded him of). And no sex in years! When I filed about 14 months later, I was pretty much over the lonliness. Now I vacillate between wanting bad things to happen to him, getting hopeful and lookings for hints that he's finally getting ready to compromise and settle this divorce and then back to the bad things fantasies. I think when you're angry, you can get through the lonliness a bit easier.