You will know when they come squirming back.

i agree with Gsch, a cheater will never really win by playing that game.

in the end, just going after a piece of ass will make a man realize what a horrible guy he is. like hugh hefner. what a creepy old man that guy is.

I told my husband I knew about the OW on Sunday. I knew for 3 weeks and didn't say anything. He was shocked and didn't talk much. He said he's hurting and sorry but I didn't feel that he was. That hurt me even more. The next day I heard him balling over the phone. (he thought I had hung up) It was cries like my own where you can't breathe and talk to yourself. I had never heard or seen him cry this way before. He knows he's screwed up. He knows all he has left is the OW and his work. Nothing will be the same for him. I am gone. I won't take him back. My family and our friends hate him. His family is so hurt by him. He cried "I have no life with out you." He's hurting but it changes nothing. He is still with her even though he says he's not happy. He has made his choices and now he's stuck with them.

I told mine he will get what is coming to him and he told me that he knows he is a bad, ugly person and he just wished he would die, but he also told the ow that he ready to go but are these just words or is he really hurting?

My wife cheated on me and I took her back but it was never the same in the end we ended up separating and I believe she is seeing the guy again. She is in it for instant gratification. She brushes off the kids when they ask if she is coming home. She cheated on her first husband. So I believe if they do it once they'll do it again

My ex-in-laws were divorced when my ex-husband was a child because of infidelity, and the spouse that cheated ended up being happy and staying with his new partner until he died just recently.

There are all kinds of reasons why people cheat, and every once in awhile, it's because they met "the one" after they married someone else. Absolutely tragic, but it is what it is.

I think most people have consciences that will provide opportunities for feeling regret for hurting their loved ones. Some don't have consciences at all,and they don't regret it. My exS used to brag often, about how he had no conscience, that only losers have regrets or lose sleep. I don't wait for an apology from him. I know he doesn't give it a second thought.

In the end though, does it matter much if the marriage/relationship is ruined and people have to pick themselves up and create a new life all over again?

I don't know.

Cheaters try to cover all their bases. It's a selfish action. Eventually it rolls back on top of them. At that point they will regret. However, that won't stop them from trying to cover their bases later on. Way of the world.

i dont care if he realizes it or not. im finally starting to realize what HE lost- and thats enough for me. xoxo

NOPE!

They have it all rationalized in their pitiful little minds why they did it and will usually blame us.

He said this the night I caught him.

AMEN, StrongGal...

I told my H from the very beginning that he would realize one day what he has thrown away. Not lost. Intentionally threw away!
And that I Prayed it wasn't too late for him.
I spoke with him last week. And while talking/yelling at him (i'm so not a yeller) I realized,
It's Too Late For Him ....even if he realizes what he's done and what he's thrown away.

........If it does I will truly pity her, because of ever thing she lost and the hurt she created.

Finally I see a different opinion regarding this topic. I agree with joyride, it does happen that suddenly you find "the one" when you are already married or in a serious relationship with someone else. There are thoughts like "Should I let "the one" go and stay in my not so happy marriage or should I take the risk to find my own happines with that person but hurting my partner in the process?". I have seen this happen all the time. I was chatting with a friend some days ago and she said something that kept me thinking "We all have to pursue our own happiness, and if we are not happy with our partners then we should leave". Might sound selfish but, its quite true. I read long time ago in another forums where a man said (After filing for divorce) "I am the man of her dreams, but she isn't the woman of my dreams" Someone asked him why he married in the first place, and he said that at the time he felt it was the right thing to do (Marry a pretty woman, good family, loving, caring... well a nice catch) and to make her happy because she was so in love with him. As years passed he felt he was living with his best friend but nothing more. To add more tragedy, that guy said he found someone else that maybe wasn't as perfect as his wife, but she was giving him something that his marriage lacked, and that was the "spark" he needed in his life.

I guess there are many reasons why people cheat, some ppl cheat because they want a piece of ass as someone said here, some cheat as a escape route from their issues, but there are some because they found "the one". As Joyride said, sometimes the cheating partner finds happiness in the arms of another person.

i think Joy hit this one....

Also...I know I say it all the time, and i will say it again.

HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB.

we cant depend on other people to MAKE us happy. Its not realistic. it gives them a "job". Happiness comes within...relationships ADD to. That kind of love is conditional and just doesnt work.

just my opinion.

Everyone is different. Everyone has different beliefs and viewpoints. I hate hearing this fall"out of love" stuff....its a crap excuse for not finding your own way.