Breakups & Divorce Support Group
Just broke up with someone or in the midst of a difficult divorce? Breaking up is difficult no matter what the circumstances are. They say that time heals all wounds, but sometimes a listening ear or a hug can work wonders for the heart. Whether you need a place to vent, someone to hold you to No Contact, or need advice about what to do, we're here to help.
I know this question probably pops up a lot, but I really am feeling very depressed lately.
My boyfriend and I recently broke up again, or at least I'm pretty sure at this point. After a month separation in July we decided to give it another try and it didn't work. He left Monday when he was really angry, told me he wasn't breaking up with me, but he was calling me names, mocking me, screaming, pointing out all my flaws and saying "and you wonder why I get mad." I kept trying to tell him I loved him but he wouldn't even talk to me, he called me Monday night asking if I found something and I looked, and no luck, he was calm so I told him I loved him, and he told me he loved me too but he hasn't answered any of my phone calls the last three days so I'm certain it's over. The last time he left me it was similar to this, so I'm pretty sure. I really love him though. We argued all the time, and we've had our fair share of bad times and we've both hurt each other a lot, but I'm still entirely madly in love with him. Thinking about it actually being over is downright destroying me. I'm going to be 21 in a month and I'm scared to death that I won't find someone I love as much as him or someone that can make me as happy. Even the small things about him I miss already, the way he looks, how affectionate he was, the way his body fit perfectly with mine when we cuddled, the sex was incredible and he made me feel like the most amazing person. Told me he didn't want to lose me all the time, constantly talked about our future. He was the first man I lived with, the first one I was entirely comfortable being myself around, I opened up to him about everything. Now even looking at another man just makes me cry. I know I can't be the only one to have felt this way at some point, but it feels like I am alone now. We were going to get married and have kids and a life together, and even now looking into my future, he's there.
I just don't know how to move on, or even start to. I've never been so sure someone was the love of my life. There's just so much pain that both of us are feeling, it's seriously damaged the relationship to a point where I think he's just given up. But I still don't want anyone else, period.
Has anyone been here and went on to realize they were wrong down the road and found true love and happiness later on?
My boyfriend and I recently broke up again, or at least I'm pretty sure at this point. After a month separation in July we decided to give it another try and it didn't work. He left Monday when he was really angry, told me he wasn't breaking up with me, but he was calling me names, mocking me, screaming, pointing out all my flaws and saying "and you wonder why I get mad." I kept trying to tell him I loved him but he wouldn't even talk to me, he called me Monday night asking if I found something and I looked, and no luck, he was calm so I told him I loved him, and he told me he loved me too but he hasn't answered any of my phone calls the last three days so I'm certain it's over. The last time he left me it was similar to this, so I'm pretty sure. I really love him though. We argued all the time, and we've had our fair share of bad times and we've both hurt each other a lot, but I'm still entirely madly in love with him. Thinking about it actually being over is downright destroying me. I'm going to be 21 in a month and I'm scared to death that I won't find someone I love as much as him or someone that can make me as happy. Even the small things about him I miss already, the way he looks, how affectionate he was, the way his body fit perfectly with mine when we cuddled, the sex was incredible and he made me feel like the most amazing person. Told me he didn't want to lose me all the time, constantly talked about our future. He was the first man I lived with, the first one I was entirely comfortable being myself around, I opened up to him about everything. Now even looking at another man just makes me cry. I know I can't be the only one to have felt this way at some point, but it feels like I am alone now. We were going to get married and have kids and a life together, and even now looking into my future, he's there.
I just don't know how to move on, or even start to. I've never been so sure someone was the love of my life. There's just so much pain that both of us are feeling, it's seriously damaged the relationship to a point where I think he's just given up. But I still don't want anyone else, period.
Has anyone been here and went on to realize they were wrong down the road and found true love and happiness later on?
Let your hair down, enjoy your 20s and let love find you this time.
It will for sure.
I would like to add you could also take some college classes, you can even get some online, so you could maybe think of a job or career or a job that you may enjoy. You could start out slow with just 1 class.
Living with someone you are fighting with all the time is not the way true love is supposed to work. That boy would make you so miserable in the years to come. Please take care of yourself and let this guy go.
Good luck.
((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))
You need to look into codependence.....love yourself.....otherwise youll spend the rest of your life chasing disfunctional men like that one. Seriously....if thats love, id rather be alone forever.
You can't allow someone to treat you like this. You deserve so much better. The first time a guy starts being abusive (what he's doing is verbal and emotional abuse) walk away. For one thing, it will send a very clear message that you aren't going to tolerate that behavior. The other thing that concerns me about this guy is I see a lot of red flags that indicate his behavior could eventually escalate into physical violence. He's grooming you to take it by beating you down emotionally. That's part of their control cycle.
It sounds like you've put most of the effort into this relationship and that's not right either. No relationship should be this much drama or this hard. That's not the way it's supposed to be. You absolutely will find true love and I can promise you, he isn't it. All your future with him would hold is more of what he's already showing you.
You're going to come across people in your life who will say all the right words at all the right times. But in the end, it's always their actions you should judge them by. It's actions, not words, that matter. ~ Nicholas Sparks
tcl18 - You have to trust the next person but keep your eyes open. Don't blindly trust. If your gut tells you something isn't right, listen to it. It will never steer you wrong. Our hearts will but our guts won't. You can't hold what someone did in a previous relationship against the next person or your relationship is doomed from the start. You need to resolve those issues before you start a new relationship to give it a fair shot.