Hopefully the decree will be in place soon And all
the decisions will have been made on how to Move
forward legally and financially.

My ex got all his possessions and the debt. I moved
out and got an apartment intown After the decree and
went no contact.

Be patient now its about the financials and The children.
Try to limit any contact with Your stbx for your own sanity.
Listen to your lawyer. My lawyer had my back i was in no
Condition to think clearly.

I think many of us hold out hope until the day Of the divorce
for reconciliation. I thought my Ex would come to his senses.
He didn't, he had Someone new that he wanted to be with. He
Was very serious about the divorce and leaving.

Generally if they are checked out they are long gone mentally
And Emotionally also they are Disconnected from you and the
marriage.

They Made their decision long before acting on anything. Generally
they wait for the right someone to come along then they Leave and
mostly with no looking back and no regrets. They might have some
guilt and shame it still won't stop them.

Therapy and www.divorcecare.org will help a lot with the grieving and
The divorce process. Keep reaching out for healthy help and support.
Its a hard long road and journey with all the grieving, rejection, hurt and
Pain, HUGS

Thanks so much for the comments. Yes. Doubt my wife has someone else, but it does feel like she left me mentally and spiritually a while back. Subtle things were different, besides the lack of romance, she started doing things with the kids outside the home. Instead of bringing the kids friends and their moms over, she would say.. we are going to meetup with the Smiths at Starbucks. Not to mention, she said some horrible lies in her protective order/affidavit. It goes beyond hurt. I did get to see my kids for the first time in 5 weeks during our first supervised visit. She would not budge on that stuff during the negotiations of temporary support, citing family violence, which is all trumped up to support her protective order. The visit went fine and the kids were so happy to see me and teared up when the 1 hour visit was over. The supervisor said... "if these kids had been abused, it would have been obvious - instead they hugged you and didn't want to say bye". That all weakens her case and if we go to trial, it will all weigh in my favor. I'm doing everything by the book per the temporary settlement agreement. 1 more supervised visit then I have to do 2 family counseling sessions. Will be interesting to see what comes out of the children during these sessions. What is mom telling them about dad, and why she had to leave and not come back. The kids know dad is not a monster, but mom sure told some big lies, tall enough to get a judge to sign her protective order. The worst thing is I should be so angry at her for what she did to blow up our family and how she lied about me in a court document. Instead, I'm missing her, grieving for her and feel so abandoned. Is this normal? And is a pipe dream to think she may consider reconciliation? I've told my attorney that I want to do everything I can to keep the door open. And we have, but in the end I know it takes two people to want to be married. If one is done, it's over. Thanks again for the reply. This is all so new to me and I'm still in denial.

Hugs back.

Watch your back and listen to your lawyer. She is not your friend, think enemy after all she did. .She has her best interest at heart not yours. I would not write off a bf if i was you. I have no children myself,Hugs

What do u mean, "bf"?

bf= "boyfriend".

Boy friend

It's possible, and that would be the ultimate in crushing my heart :( seems all I can do is take it moment by moment, and focus my attention on my relationship with my kids. She's really trying to control that but the truth will come out in the counseling sessions and I will have the benefit of professional 3rd parties on the record supporting me. Where she thought she was punishing me, it will only strengthen me. :)

My experience has been that while I have left the door open to reconcile, my wife is out to win at all costs. I filed, but explained that I would stop if we got some help. She doesn't want to, nor does she feel she has any fault.

I think at first we cling to the hope because we are not used to living alone. The quiet and isolation is suffocating. She held all of the cards with our kids and would not give them to me more than every other weekend. We had our first custody case Thursday, and the referee saw fit to provide me with greater visitation. I had to be patient. But it paid off. She threw every possible piece of mud at me, but thankfully the judges have a way to see the truth.

For you it may take time. But it sounds like you are well on the way to proving you're a good and fit father. For your kids sake I hope you are. Take pride in yourself control, and give yourself a chance to heal and understand your new life. It will take time. Hell, I myself am struggling to figure out new things to do and to enjoy in life. Consider the fact that if she was as unhappy as she appears to be, how your life would be with her still in it. She did you a favor. Celebrate each day as the greatest gift she gave you after your kids.

totally agree with above....watch your back! what you've written is somewhat confusing....but if she's going beyond and back to make things hard, has taken money from bank...I'd go the route of getting name off credit cards or at least contacting and saying what to do if you have balances and don't want anything more charged after a specified date with your name on it..best of luck :)