Likely yes, trying to "keep her hand in" as you say. As far as reminding you of her weight loss, she may be trying to make you jealous... or looking for some sort of encouragement or approval...

If you are the one who left (I don't know your story) she may be trying to do things to keep you.

green, she left me.

she keeps telling me she wants to be friends and civil. i already asked her why she keeps doing this. she played me(cheated) at least twice if not more so why she wants to be friends or think i want anything to do with her after i move and divorce her?

Block her number and lock your door. Dont eat the chicken strips / you could prob. eat some thing better.

well, i cant keep her from coming into the apartment. her name is on the lease. but blocking her number and not accepting her"gifts" is options i can take. i actually moved in with her years ago. our landlord put my name on the lease so she cannot kick me out if she wanted to anyway or vica versa. its still extremely awkward situation. i wish i can move earlier.

How done is done? Do you still wish things could be fixed? I think that if my STBX had been contrite and committed to working on things after I found out about her As I might have still been willing, ever so guardedly, to give it a go in counseling. It's normally a 2-way street, to some degree. We, as the betrayed spouses often have little understanding of why they did what they did. If there's still that little bit of you that wants things to be better, maybe this is her saying she does too. Maybe an open conversation about it might be productive?

As said b4, I don't know your story. I know what it's like to be betrayed, but some ppl are able to work through it. Of course, if you're done, you're done.

Good luck!

no its done. im going to counceling right now. she refused it. in the long run its for the best.. she cheated on me twice or maybe more i dont know of. she left me for another man a month ago. so why do i want to go back to a person i cannot trust?

I kind of have a different opinion...I am wanting to leave my husband but am terrified of what he is capable of and what will happen. If we were living together but separated, I would try to keep it civil too just for the "no drama" sake

She left you. Refused counseling. Keeps offering food to you multiple times...yeah, I wouldn't eat any food she offered. Call me paranoid.

How done is done is right good one OBRMoldy. Tell her to get her shit out .You dont have to put up with that.Or a catch 22 maybe? I would just get rid of her.

Sounds like, in my opinion, she still wants control of you, even though she threw you away. Her way of keeping you on a string.

Just my opinion from not really knowing your situation. Be well and stay cautious, eyes wide open.

Yeah, if there's nothing left, no trust or even belief it could be rebuilt, physical separation is needed ASAP. The emotional pains you will continue to endure, the frustrations, reliving the feelings of betrayal...amicability can only last so long under those circumstances. I ended up getting a kick out order on my STBX because she assaulted me and I was having nightmares of being stabbed in my sleep, only to awake screaming and drenched in sweat. To this day, 18 mos later to the day, she says she is the victim. Yeah, right. She's offended that I would consider myself as a victim in any way, shape, or form, even though the law and facts sided with me.

Not to create paranoia, but beware of set ups for false reports of abuse. I know too many people, all men, who suffered that. Trumped up charges from self-inflicted wounds. The law always sides with the woman in those circs, unless there's evidence it was self-inflicted. Sorry to be a doomsayer.

thanks everyone for the advice. even though i never think she would hurt me physically i will keep an eye out.

I think she's trying to play like the two of you are friends. Some kind of denial that all is right in the world and what she did wasn't really wrong.

You must be a heck of a man though, because most, if not all, people I know would reply so sarcastically to her offer, that it would never be made again....

Just saying.