I"m assuming this is a 2nd marriage? I'm sorry but I don't understand why anyone would choose "someone" over their children, regardless. Your son is your child, your blood. If your wife can't accept that, then that's her problem.

Whether they get along or not, she should be able to be a grown ass adult and accept that you have a relationship with your son and won't be willing to sacrifice that. You should be able to have your time with your son, and still have peace at home. If not, then she needs to go.

One problem now days is that people have two or more families. That’s against human nature, thus problems are inevitable. When getting married, do most people lie when they say “for better or for worse, until death do us part”? There never is a “worse”, is there? Said should be “for better, or we will get divorced”. How would that be for a wedding vow?

I have to respectfully disagree with @Walmer7. I don't believe in concrete black and white thinking regarding "there is never a worse." Sadly, people do change for the worst. Should someone continue in a relationship with a habitual liar, drug user, philanderer, abuser? Maybe one of the partners has checked out and marriage is no longer 50/50, 60/40, 70/30 or even an 80/20 effort for them. Is the spouse putting in the lion's share of the effort expected to be a martyr for life? Or is the til "death do us part" really just a handy "get out of jail free" card for the perpetrator?

There are always shades of gray. We need to be supportive of each other. We walk in our own shoes, not anybody else's.

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. It is not right for her to leave you because your relationship with your son and family or for her to be abusive towards you. You deserve better than that and she is obviously not ready for a relationship;. It isn't an easy thing to accept and move on. To see the positive in an ending and just let go. I think this is a great opportunity for you though to start fresh. Allow yourself to stand up for yourself against her abusive ways.

Okay..... lets assume everyone the son, you and your wife are in the room.It is crazy abnormal for a woman to harbor any ill feelings towards a minor.She is married to you so she has a thing for you- lets call it her version of love. Who is not in the room??????? Your family. She feels shunned from the family. So tell us exactly what are (her attitude and practices ) that your family does not agree with.You see when people come in this forum what has to be realized is all the parties in the story have their own perspective-no matter if sick and twisted-the idea is to decode and bring clarity across all the boards- across all.If you live with your wife.......... how do they(your family)) know of what behaviors and attitudes she has--- so it does not add up and you need to clarify if you can because there are a------l------0-----t of folks out here that cant stand in laws etc but they bite the bullet,make nice and then go back home and relax-so tell us whats really up here?

Rick, I recently learned that the divorce rate for blended families is 70%, and the leading cause is from the divorce guilt that manifests in behavior that shows favoritism to the child over the wife and a lack of parenting to make th child respectful towards the stepmom.

In my marriage, my stepson was disrespectful to me from day one of the marriage when he was only 8. I tried to kill ss with kindness and also ask him for the acceptable behavior, but Unfortunately, my husband chose to look the other way and refused to reinforce respectful behavior. Ss is now an adult who is purposelessly mean to me, and he has now taught his new wife to be mean and disrespectful to me. Again, my husband looks the other way, and never taught his son to be respectful to me. Since ss is buying a house close by to where I live, and my husband now chooses to make our retirement decisions based on his child and not on our marriage (I have two children of my own, as well), I am divorcing hm.

I feel like the mistress waiting around for sloppy seconds, and I am being asked to accept the disrespect and smile while ss and his wife are mean to me. No more.

If you value your marriage, you need to ask yourself and your wife what behavior is acceptable and make that change. Otherwise, you’ll be joining the 70% of us getting another divorce.