I am going to talk about my ex so I am going to ignore the thing below about being nice. Size 5, in my dreams I wish she was ever a size five that was a dot to her. The whole time I knew I don't think she was close to a size 5. So to answer your question, this guy gave a girl over a size 5 plenty of chances. I almost said tons of chances but I decided to be nice, which I guess was my problem, I was way to nice to her and she took it for granted.

Hi Happy,

Part of the problem is like many of us, you are dealing with the rejection. Many of us tend to blame ourselves for the stbx straying because those are the ideas they have planted in our heads for years. We start believing if we were thinner, prettier, sexier then the person would have stayed with us. It's all bulls&^t. The cheaters leave because they are flawed. Perfect example, for years my stbx would make comments about my weight (I was a size 12). Left me for a woman who is much larger. So don't believe what they say.

Be proud of your accomplishment. Losing 10 lbs. is tough enough, losing 100 is fantastic! I also struggled in the beginning of this process with thinking that I wasn't attractive enough to attract anyone. My family and friends are helping me to really look at myself objectively and that has helped my confidence.

Happy..we all have body issues, no matter what our size. Please do what so many of the other wonderful DS members have suggested--no matter what your size, treat yourself well. Get pampered!!! Get your nails done, go for a wonderful massage, buy some sexay lingerie (amazing what wonders that in itself can do). Take this time to learn to love yourself. When we love ourselves and have a positive attitude is when we attract positive people. You are worth it!!! Keep us updated on your progress. Let us know about the little things you choose to let yourself indulge in~~~~

Your only fat and useless if you believe it...Don't believe it. You should be proud of your weight loss..that is awesome. I am working on mine right now. I am 6'7" and 290. I was 330 when I married my wife...So I am working on mine too. The only women who like me, I usually walk over by accident...LOL

Hang in there, you are doing the right things, and be proud of yourself...you did something that is very hard to accomplish...Stay positive!!!!!!!

I am so proud of you for losing that weight and you should be too..that is such an accomplishment for you.. I am in agreement with the others as to get a new sexy outfit and go for it. I had never been heavy and when I got sick three yrs ago I gained 65 lbs from the treatment. I have lost 45 of it now but still have that other 20.. It may stay with me forever but I can tell you I feel sexy and men pick up on that and treat me accordingly.. You should be so proud of what you have done. I know that I am. You are beautiful and as soon as you start believing that, everyone else will too.. Hugs to you, Kimmee

Allow me to weigh in with this issue :-P

I've never worried too much about conventional beauty standards as they are applied to women. Although I do not like either extreme - too skinny or obese - I do look for a general committment to health and physical activity. I have found that larger women do tend to have deep-seated issues regarding their body and it does cause them to curtail intimacy. It's too bad because most men over 30 have a well-developed paunch and certainly can't point fingers. In fact, I notice that women generally put a lot more effort into remaining fit than men.

I'll address your last comment and tell you to continue to adopt a healthy lifestyle and to not worry so much about what men think. You're very pretty in your photos and I'm sure that once you start believing it, your improved self-confidence will help you to project your beauty - complete with all those desireable features that you pointed out already.

Time for a mirror talk!
Look yourself in the mirror and instead of searching for flaws, look yourself straight in the eye.
And talk to yourself like you'd talk to your very best friend.
Tell yourself how amazing you are. How wonderful it is to have lost 100lbs!
How gorgeous you are.
And how you are just wonderful. Just the way you are.
Repeat daily!

happywannab sez...

"Where are the guys that don't mind a real woman?
*chuckles*
Gee, and I can't get ANY women to give me a second look. Those real men and real women must be hidden REAL good! Well, dangit, I just gotta go find a fake one then.

You are doing a wonderful job. What you need to realize is that you should feel good about you no matter what other people think. Look yourself in the mirror and find all of the good things about you. Then, go out and enjoy Life(tm) and find the things that make you happy. For me, I like seeing that someone is happy with who they are. That happiness comes out in the character, the eyes, and the smile. To me (and the last time I checked I was a man), that is what makes a woman desirable and beautiful.

I will totally and completely disagree.

If you're looking for superficial and shallow, then yeah, maybe some scrawny little bit is what they're looking for. Is that what you want? Even playing with someone like that is going to totally destroy any sense of self-esteem you have.

Personally, I am NOT a 5, (double that and plus a bit!) but, anyone I find knows that I am SOMETHING.

Looking at your post, it's my opinion that it's actually in your head. YOU have the "fat and ugly" bit stuck in your brain, and until you shake that loose, you aren't going to be able to find anyone because you won't be able to get past the whole "how can someone like HIM like ME?" barrier.

Value yourself as a person. You won't find anyone else that sees your value, until you get it.