Why not date the one's you say like you the way you are?

haven't found any ! I would love to my "black men like me comment" were all from "taken men"!I like people for people I wouldn't care there color. I just have been meeting white guys who won't come out and say it but I feel them think I am not skinny enough. Maybe I just think it?

You have lost 100 lbs? You go girl!

Congrats to you! 100 lbs is a very real accomplishment - I have to agree - I've lost 30 and now down to a 14 too - there's still lots of me here - and I would just love to feel a teensy bit attractive to someone.
The girls I work with have been wonderful and are forever telling me how great I look - I just don't feel it - when I look into a mirror I still see a sad little blob - oh boy - glad my daughter is out because if she saw me type that she'd simply kick my a$$.
We are often harder on ourselves and don't see what others see.
I have to be honest - I've always had esteem issues but having your husband leave after 21 years just makes you wonder what you really haev to offer.
I certainly know how you feel!

SOME men are shallow. SOME women are shallow. That will never change. There are men out there who are looking for a good woman to love no matter what their size it. You just have to find them.

And I think you are gorgeous (just looked at your pic). Just wanted to say that.

Where are the guys that don't mind a real woman? Bugged I too have the support of my daughter, my biggest cheerleader and my friends but I still see fat and ugly when I look at me. First my husband then cheating almost fiance' just added to my non-existant self esteem! Thanks for all of your kind words. Why do we need a man to justify what we should know. Why do we give them so much power over us to determine our self-worth?

Can you get Lifetime, that show 'how to look good naked?'

What is your budget like? Can you buy some beautiful clothes, exactly your size? I'm an artist, I've done a lot of life drawing. You draw from nude models b/c if they have clothes on you don't see the anatomy, you see the clothes. Clothes make a tremendous difference. Baby yourself: clothes, nails, hair, baths, teeth, all of that.

There is a lady in my town who is really big, and really sexy, and she has it painted on her Tahoe or whatever "Big Sexy!" on the back. She is sexy, we love to see her drive around and we want to be more like that.

Do you like Flylady.net? look at it, Marla's amazing. Been where we are, amazing new love, new life, she's all light. she wrote a book called 'body clutter.'

Be a big, happy sexy spirit, you will glow, you will be those things to all who see you, Wishing you wonderful love for yourself and a wonderful love! ~tb

PS I agree with Jo, date men who love you in the now, just exactly like you are to-DAY.

Happy, You are beautiful. Keep telling yourself this. Trailblazer, I think I am going to get my nails and toes done. Thanks.

I'm as white as a jug of f*&@ing milk. I know this, b/c that's what they said about me as I walked in a bar in St. Thomas. "Two weeks in St.Thomas, and she's as white..."

This was hard growing up in the Christy Brinkley tan era. I didn't want to wear shorts to school.

Now I have Nicole Kidman, actually even though everyone is photo-shopped, we at least have a wider variety of beauty in the media. Still sucks, but you know what I mean? I almost put that in a dating profile: who would you rather go out with? nicole kidman or penelope cruz? but we are all beautiful.

My daughter has already said something to me about being so white! She's a beautiful redhead.

BTW, I found out after my divorce that this guy we knew who came on our boat was chatting up my creamy skin around some guys, one guy came back and told me! Oh, I loved it! I like my creamy skin, i play it up: some guys like it, other's not so much. you know? you are beautiful!

ps one more thought. i had dinner with a friend and her hubby after my marriage split. her hubby said to her later 'wow. I never knew she was pretty. when did she get pretty?' I hadn't changed much. just happy.

Well ... sadly, a lot of people are shallow and society "teaches/trains" us to think negatively about people being "overweight" (according to society's standards anyway). My Dad weighed 450 pounds and my Mom was a "size 6". Granted, they DID get divorced, after 4 kids and 15 years, but it had nothing to do with his weight!
Looks are fleeting, but personality and character are permanent!
Just stay a beautiful person "inside" and make your weight be where YOU are comfortable!

SOME day, the right guy, will recognize your endearing qualities, and NOT fixate simply on your appearance.

Chin-up, Hon ! :)

The average size in the united states is a 12.

I know exactly how you feel! My ex left me because I was too voluptous...fat! I have no self-esteem and would like to rebuild that part of me. I just got to get the men interested with my mojo when I'm ready to get out there. Sexy is as sexy does...

Can we see you entire beautiful face please? Were friends here trying to build each other up and help one another cope with whats going on with our relationships or lack thereof. Regardless of our body shapes or what we may look like we will always find a flaw. Nobody is perfect nor is there a perfect look. We all have different tastes but ultimately we have to be comfortable with who we are. My 15 year old daughter is one of those lucky people who is comfortable with herself. Me.noI wouldnt go to the mailbox without being showered, dressed, hair fixed etc.

Wannab...I am just going to put this out there. I know exactly how you feel, I have been through the same thing (with dad not stbx). I am now down to a size 14 after losing 60 myself. I still have body image issues. So, I know for a fact that it has less to do with how you look and more to do with the lack of confidence you have in yourself. Men are attracted to women who know they are sexy. So my advice to you would be to go buy yourself a chest acsentuating sexy outfit, and go out wiyh your head held high and your chest out. Tell yourself that you are sexy and you will find a head or two turn your way.