Also, to add to this, I can't stop obsessing about what he's doing all the time. He told me he doesn't miss me and that he has moved on and doesn't care about what I do, but I can't seem to do the same. I guess the hardest part is the realization that he could move on so easily and quickly after a 7 year relationship and I can't and it just makes me feel like it was all for nothing.

I'm truly sorry that you're going through this. All of the feelings you're having are completely normal. They SUCK, but they're a part of the healing process.

Have a look here to see an explanation of what you're going through (It helps to see the feelings are normal and you're not CRAZY): http://www.abandonment.net/swirl-the-five-stages-of-abandonment

Have a look here for some insight as to why he's acting the way he is: http://www.abandonment.net/profile-of-an-abandoner

I've been EXACTLY where you are. My ex did the exact same thing after 18 years and I had SO many questions. The 2nd link I posted answered a lot of them.

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Start doing things where you're the recipient. Eat healthy, workout, quit nicotine, get dental work done, join a sports league, learn an instrument, etc. Just do something to make you feel better. Your sub-conscience is going to be working overtime siphoning off your self-worth, counteract that as best you can. As an added bonus you'll be healthier and have a bunch of new routines as you start the next part of your life.

Keep posting here to get your feelings out. Find a friend that will be there to listen. Find a counselor to help you work through some emotions. If you're lucky enough to be in a community large enough to have group divorce therapy get involved there as well.

You're not alone in this. You're worth getting better for!

I sincerely do appreciate that. 18 years? I can't even imagine. 7 years for me is hard enough. The main issue is likely that he was my first true love (I was a late bloomer) and I had all these ideas of our future and our upcoming wedding and when he left they all came crashing down. I have read the first article and it is exactly how I have been feeling. I go through the majority of the emotions every day. And I know I need to get myself out there, but its just so hard to be motivated. I basically live in my bedroom when I'm home, and when I'm not at work, I am at my sisters. Luckily I have my dog for support, but I have been feeling so crazy lately I figured I should look into somewhere else to express my feelings.

7 years is a long time, it's
Going to take time to work through the breakup. My ex wife left after 24 years, what helped me was staying busy and hitting the gym, taking up golf again, working in the yard, basically anything but laying in bed and thinking too much. There's a great website guide that helped me also, www.breakuprecoveryguide.com that really helped me too. And posting here for support. It's been 3 years and still hurts as it involved cheating and kids so it was pretty involved but im definitely better than I was in the hellish early days..it Will get better :)

33 years when the divorce was final. It took another 6 years to get financially untangled from the ex.

Take the time to rearrange the furniture in your house. Take the time to change your home to what you like. Little changes can help you to start making a life for yourself.

You are on a roller coaster ride of emotions so cry when you need to soon you will gradually feel better. There is no shortcut to get over a divorce. There are no shortcuts to healing. Just know that your life will get better

may i ask? do you want reconciliation or to move forward alone?

Thank you all so much. It helps to know that I'm not alone. And to be honest, initially yes, I did want us to get back together. But the last couple of days I've been coming to grips with the fact that that wouldn't be a good idea. He cheated on me after being together 2 years and I stuck it out with him and there were other times he looked to step out but then I caught him and he begged me to stay. It wasn't all good. What's hard though is all the good memories that keep flooding in clouding the negative and it makes it hard. He was over tonight still packing up some more of his stuff and I was able to get out how I felt about it all and it felt like a turning point. I know I'm not out of the woods but I'm definitely feeling better than I was earlier.